• Big Surprise TMNT Review's are in and it's Shit.
    78 replies, posted
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;45633119]I bet every single one of those reviews is megan fox making multiple accounts[/QUOTE] Even sounds like her intelligence and everything!
[QUOTE=dai;45633549]imagine an uncanny realism oriented gritty reboot of MLP including gratuitous amounts of michaelbaysplosions [I]everybody [/I]would show up for the absurdity [editline]e[/editline] I hope you're listening, bay[/QUOTE] Exactly, there is no way you can put those two things together and not get massive amounts of people attracted just by the sheer nonsense of it. And as I said, with how crap the Equestria Girls movies are, Bay should be able to push them into "so bad it's good" territory. Or the insanity of the assignment could cause him to finally snap, either way it's a win win.
[QUOTE=asteroidrules;45633607]Exactly, there is no way you can put those two things together and not get massive amounts of people attracted just by the sheer nonsense of it. And as I said, with how crap the Equestria Girls movies are, Bay should be able to push them into "so bad it's good" territory. Or the insanity of the assignment could cause him to finally snap, either way it's a win win.[/QUOTE] the next transformers comes around and we find out that the allspark has a sister fragment of a much larger entity, known to japan as "Ramiel". This fragment is contains a computer simulation of the perfect universe, and the heroes have to digitize tron-style to get in and stop a deadly nano virus dubbed Iriul. They go through the first two hours of the movie on an intense hunt for the location of the allspark after it's stolen by the decepticons, who are unaware of the presence of the nanomachines and seek to to acquire energon from within the simulation to essentially produce unlimited amounts. As the autobots, shinji, and wikipedia arrive at the doomsday extraction machine, a massive fight ensues and whipwookie almost gets squished several times without asking why he's standing out in the open while gigantic mechatanks punch each other and do a ton of dodge-rolls to avoid the camera seeing their parts clipping together. Shinji ends up stepping on a gag character decepticon and in the process knocks whoopi goldberg unconscious starscream utters to himself that he's now the king of everything under the assumption that megatron was also squished, and hastily activates the digitization process so he can begin operations withdrawing energon. Everyone in the room freezes and glows bright blue, before vanishing. the movie theater goes dark. You hear the high pitched "tinkdsfkh" of an old CRT monitor turn on, and slowly you see the degaussing process of a 90's era CRT cringe and warp the lightening values of the screen, before you see the framing of an image slowly form. There's a click like a tape recorder beginning to play. At first, it is nothing but the static of silence. the anticipation is killing you. The screen fades in and begins showing a rainbow of colors, the likes of which you've never seen. The audio kicks in, jarringly, almost like it's in your head; "myyyy little poonyyyyyyy, something SOMETHing SOMething, beeeest friiiieeeeeeeennnnnnnndddddddd" (ends with a sickass guitar solo though) the next three hours the doors to the theater are locked and you watch all of season one, under the presumption that the characters have all lost their memory but know they must unlock the secrets of the world they live in to truly understand who they are. Shinji is reduced to a ridiculous tiny dragon with anxiety issues around strong female characters and the Eva goes on to lead a successful life literally stomping the competition at the race course [t]http://s2.animeshinbun.com/media/15/news/1015000/1019264_0.png[/t] [t]http://www.gunjap.net/site/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/1606.jpg[/t]
[QUOTE=Sam Za Nemesis;45633097]Best part are the positive movie reviews[/QUOTE] Someone needs to tell this guy that #1 movie just means it made a lot of money, not that people think it's good.
[QUOTE=dai;45633863]the next transformers comes around and we find out that the allspark has a sister fragment of a much larger entity, known to japan as "Ramiel". This fragment is contains a computer simulation of the perfect universe, and the heroes have to digitize tron-style to get in and stop a deadly nano virus dubbed Iriul. They go through the first two hours of the movie on an intense hunt for the location of the allspark after it's stolen by the decepticons, who are unaware of the presence of the nanomachines and seek to to acquire energon from within the simulation to essentially produce unlimited amounts. As the autobots, shinji, and wikipedia arrive at the doomsday extraction machine, a massive fight ensues and whipwookie almost gets squished several times without asking why he's standing out in the open while gigantic mechatanks punch each other and do a ton of dodge-rolls to avoid the camera seeing their parts clipping together. Shinji ends up stepping on a gag character decepticon and in the process knocks whoopi goldberg unconscious starscream utters to himself that he's now the king of everything under the assumption that megatron was also squished, and hastily activates the digitization process so he can begin operations withdrawing energon. Everyone in the room freezes and glows bright blue, before vanishing. the movie theater goes dark. You hear the high pitched "tinkdsfkh" of an old CRT monitor turn on, and slowly you see the degaussing process of a 90's era warp a bit, before an image slowly fading into the screen. There's a click like a tape recorder beginning to play. At first, it is nothing but the static of silence. the anticipation is killing you. The screen fades in and begins showing a rainbow of colors, the likes of which you've never seen. The audio kicks in, jarringly, almost like it's in your head; "myyyy little poonyyyyyyy, something SOMETHing SOMething, beeeest friiiieeeeeeeennnnnnnndddddddd" (ends with a sickass guitar solo though) the next three hours the doors to the theater are locked and you watch all of season one, under the presumption that the characters have all lost their memory but know they must unlock the secrets of the world they live in to truly understand who they are. Shinji is reduced to a ridiculous tiny dragon with anxiety issues around strong female characters and the Eva goes on to lead a successful life literally stomping the competition at the race course [t]http://s2.animeshinbun.com/media/15/news/1015000/1019264_0.png[/t] [t]http://www.gunjap.net/site/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/1606.jpg[/t][/QUOTE] better than rebuild
[QUOTE=dai;45633549]imagine an uncanny realism oriented gritty reboot of MLP including gratuitous amounts of michaelbaysplosions [I]everybody [/I]would show up for the absurdity [/QUOTE] [img]http://puu.sh/aKrZe/984f5f6937.jpg[/img] They'd just some boring neon colored, otherwise normal horses, like how in that Mario Bros movie Yoshi was just some dumb dinosaur.
[quote]Zarnold Aug 8, 2014 10 This movie completely satisfied me and set itself up for a great sequel. It had great CGI and facial animation which made the turtles seem like actual characters. It had amazing fight scenes and actually made me say, DAMN! great new story and it made me laugh out loud several times. I can't wait for the second. Collapse[/quote] [QUOTE=J!NX;45633191]was this guy paid or something?[/QUOTE] Poor guy collapsed right after he finished writing that. His body just couldn't take it anymore.
[quote][img]http://i.imgur.com/th7Hn4Z.png[/img][/quote] that is the look of sheer horse terror also I'd like to think they end up pulling what they did with the smurfs where everything's basically the same as its source except it has [i][url=https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10572953/whyMLP/hi.jpg]HD TEXTURE[/url][/i]. After Smurfs2 and TMNT I have faith the industry will have the power and naivete to outdo themselves on this
I'm finding it a bit funny that a TMNT thread got derailed into MLP by a mod
[QUOTE=carcarcargo;45633095]The least surprising news this year[/QUOTE] worse than transformers 4? i mean seriously they almost couldn't pay michel bay enough to make it (almost)
[QUOTE=Sableye;45634551]worse than transformers 4? i mean seriously they [B]almost couldn't pay michel bay enough to make it[/B] (almost)[/QUOTE] frightening [QUOTE=KillerJaguar;45634413]I'm finding it a bit funny that a TMNT thread got derailed into MLP by a mod[/QUOTE] Michael Bay Hasbro Franchise contracts pointless unnecessarily realistic 80's/90's kid show movie reboots of the past few years the heart and soul of today's media circus producing the likes of which syfy could only dream of crapping up
[QUOTE=cardfan212;45633502]Michael Bay presents: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe[/QUOTE] Man I couldn't even take He-Man seriously when I was 6 years old, there's no way I'd be able to do it 20 years later
I wonder if people will learn not to give Mr. Bay more 80's/90's classics to ruin
[QUOTE=FlakAttack;45635096]Man I couldn't even take He-Man seriously when I was 6 years old, there's no way I'd be able to do it 20 years later[/QUOTE] he-man is going to be young, played by someone like channing tatum but less famous. skeletor is going to look super dark and edgy, and he-man's tiger thing is going to have a big reveal in the movie because they can sell a lot of toys of it also, the whole thing is gonna take place on earth as he-man and his buddies use a portal or something to get here, just so they can milk all the potential they have with fish-out-of-water jokes (also because he-man has to fall in love with a generic love interest)
[QUOTE=J!NX;45635101]I wonder if people will learn not to give Mr. Bay more 80's/90's classics to ruin[/QUOTE] it doesn't matter them if the franchises get "ruined" if they make a shitload of money. because really? they are pretty dormant franchises and I doubt we would have gotten another TMNT movie or even show unless it was this one. Same for transformers.
[QUOTE=Zukriuchen;45635123]he-man is going to be young, played by someone like channing tatum but less famous. skeletor is going to look super dark and edgy, and he-man's tiger thing is going to have a big reveal in the movie because they can sell a lot of toys of it also, the whole thing is gonna take place on earth as he-man and his buddies use a portal or something to get here, just so they can milk all the potential they have with fish-out-of-water jokes (also because he-man has to fall in love with a generic love interest)[/QUOTE] [url]http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093507/[/url] I like how you were joking but this actually happened, right down to coming to the real world. Cringer and He Man's other "buddies" aren't even in it though.
Well, if you really want to watch a reboot I hear the currently airing CGI series is pretty good.
[QUOTE=Tmaxx;45633431]what other hasbro toyline has ties to shows?[/QUOTE] I hear that it is Jem, which as a cartoon/toy line for little girls. The plot was basically the same as 'Hanna Montana' in that it is about a girl who is secretly a pop star. Well the same expect more 80's. From what I've heard the majority of the cast are female but the entire crew (including the writers and the director) are male. I cannot possibly see how this can fail.
[QUOTE=endorphinsam;45635142]it doesn't matter them if the franchises get "ruined" if they make a shitload of money. because really? they are pretty dormant franchises and I doubt we would have gotten another TMNT movie or even show unless it was this one. Same for transformers.[/QUOTE] There's a few things wrong with that statement. First one is TMNT had a show before the movie on Nick. It still runs today with new episodes. The movie wasn't needed, the franchise wasn't dormant. Same deal with Transformers, except on Cartoon Network. The only good thing to come out of the Bayformers were WfC and FoC.
[QUOTE=TheHydra;45633236]let's be real though, was TMNT ever actually good[/QUOTE] The TMNT comic was really good. Most of the 90s cartoon was good, as was the first live action movie, even if it was pretty corny. And the the newest 3D animated show is really good too.
Was forcibly dragged to it by a friend. I still can't tell which turtle Megan Fox was playing, but I'm pleased that all the actors looked the part really well, glad to see we're moving back to physical actors and costumes.
Guess I'll go see Guardians of the Galaxy instead, not that it wasn't what I was planning on doing anyway :v: I'm surprised Dawn of the Planet of the Apes has such a high rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Is it really that good?
Sad thing is that this movie is going to be a success even if it's crap. It'll be like those Garfield movies Also MLP [img]http://puu.sh/aL2Ww/8fedeb2421.jpg[/img]
To be fair, this movie was better then the TMNT movie where they have a female turtle mary sue show up and oneshot shredder.
I kinda like the Nick show Is there something wrong with me?
[QUOTE=Sir Drone;45638082]To be fair, this movie was better then the TMNT movie where they have a female turtle mary sue show up and oneshot shredder.[/QUOTE] That's like saying, "To be fair, having my dick ripped off by an angry baboon was better than the time my dick was ripped off by a rabid raccoon." Neither of those are good experiences, one is just marginally worse than the other.
[QUOTE=TheHydra;45633236]let's be real though, was TMNT ever actually good[/QUOTE] If you were at the right age, yeah, they probably were. I don't know if much has changed, honestly.
The title of the review in The Guardian is 'What the shell is this?' :v:
why does michael bay continue making movies when h knows they'll all get shit reviews? does pain give him pleasure?
[QUOTE=LtKyle2;45639618]why does michael bay continue making movies when h knows they'll all get shit reviews? does pain give him pleasure?[/QUOTE] Considering how much money his movies make, I'd be more inclined to make the argument that moviegoers get pleasure from pain. [URL]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Bay_filmography[/URL]
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