Scientists Declare Dolphins To Be "Non-Human Persons", Still Delicious With Tuna and Mayo - Polidicks

Two 'sentient' species on our planet? cool.

[QUOTE=Kingy_who;20417115]Can you make fire underwater?[/QUOTE] Thermite.

[QUOTE=GreenDolphin;20413659]I highly approve of this decision. [editline]02:18PM[/editline] Although dolphins do not have a language doesn't mean we can create one for them which involves whistles and squeaks. As it dolphins assign names to each other through certain noises such as squeaks.[/QUOTE] Well they don't have a written language. But they definatly do communicate efficiently. I'm sure if we really wanted to we could crack it and translate the clicks and squeaks.

Well, dolphins have a completely different frame of mind than we do, so communicating or doing anything of the sort will be extremely difficult. For instance, do dolphins have any concept of up or down? They conceive the world in a completely different way . . . the biggest forces acting on them is pressure, where as we must contend with gravity. For us, up is skyward and down is earthward. What would it be for a dolphin? Maybe the consider "out" and "in" rather than "up" or "down". As someone mentioned above, they do not need to contemplate the stars. They have something far deeper and darker . . . they abyss.

There is gravity underwater you dolt [editline]05:22PM[/editline] Given dolphins have to go up to fucking breathe I'm pretty goddamn sure they know which way is up.

I don't really see the [I]porpoise[/I] of all this nonsense over dolphins!

[QUOTE=Ori Child;20417202]Two 'sentient' species on our planet? cool.[/QUOTE] There are tons of sentient species on this planet. Lankist did some fancy stuff with terminology and levels of sentience earlier, go find and read and rate agree

[QUOTE=TH89;20401931]Dolphins are miles above people dont try to argue unless you can show me a person that lives in the ocean their whole life[/QUOTE] More like miles below if we want to be technically accurate and you live on a mountain peak

[QUOTE=cephalopoid;20420533]Well, dolphins have a completely different frame of mind than we do, so communicating or doing anything of the sort will be extremely difficult. For instance, do dolphins have any concept of up or down? They conceive the world in a completely different way . . . the biggest forces acting on them is pressure, where as we must contend with gravity. For us, up is skyward and down is earthward. What would it be for a dolphin? Maybe the consider "out" and "in" rather than "up" or "down". As someone mentioned above, they do not need to contemplate the stars. They have something far deeper and darker . . . they abyss.[/QUOTE] Dolphins know what up is. They would drown otherwise.

[QUOTE=Murkrow;20416862]Same with humans, but we keep trying to find aliens and other sentient species. Sentient species always question their existence and the purpose of life.[/QUOTE] Not the same with humans. Humans started as a prey species, in a very different evolutionary niche. We gained the ability to fuck up any animal on the planet only just now, on an evolutionary scale. We're on the top of the food chain but our brains are still evolved to survive against potential predation

dolphins should be a race in mass effect

[QUOTE=dvondrake;20421200]This is actually really groundbreaking news if it's true.[/QUOTE] It's not really, it's just a bunch of marine biologists saying "hey guys since we have established for a while now that dolphins are pretty smart we should be nice to them"

[QUOTE=TH89;20421591]It's not really, it's just a bunch of marine biologists saying "hey guys since we have established for a while now that dolphins are pretty smart we should be nice to them"[/QUOTE] You have to admit though it would be pretty awesome having a talk with a dolphin. I wonder what one would say about us.

[QUOTE=Lankist;20407036]Evidence of understanding of oneself has thus far only ever been demonstrated by artificially improving oneself. We mastered fire, fabricated bows, arrows, spears and swords to defend ourselves against the rest of the world. On an evolutionary level it seems highly improbably that a species at our level of Meta Cognizance has yet to develop a method or tendency to create as humans did. I'm not a biologist, I could be missing something here, but for a species to survive and develop such a trait would require either A. The ability to defend oneself against predators, or B. A severe lack of predators (marked by overpopulation.) The use of bodily functions within the environment does not evidence this. Dogs mark territory with their piss to ward off others, this does not mean they fabricated something. I'm not saying dolphins are stupid. Well, I am, but they aren't stupid if you do not compare them to Humanity. The ant analogy is perfect. Ants create, ants fabricate and communicate, but they are not intelligent, they have no philosophy to speak of. Fabrication, creation and communication are SIGNS of Meta Cognizance, not its definition. Were dolphins truly at the same level of self-understanding that we are, it would prove much easier to communicate with them. Just as two humans who speak different languages can, off the top of their heads, work out ways to communicate via pictographs, body-language or facial expressions, two intelligent and Meta Cognizant species would similarly be able to devise a method of communication in cooperation. Instead, we have taught and trained dolphins to communicate with methods entirely of OUR design, not of a mutual effort. There has been no effort on the fucking dolphins' part to teach us how to click properly, there has been no sign of a similar level of intellect.[/QUOTE] Number one Gold Member. [QUOTE=OvB;20421656]You have to admit though it would be pretty awesome having a talk with a dolphin. I wonder what one would say about us.[/QUOTE] They'd hate us if they saw our true history.

I just want to know if its going to be legal to sex up a dolphin still.

[QUOTE=OvB;20421656]You have to admit though it would be pretty awesome having a talk with a dolphin. I wonder what one would say about us.[/QUOTE] Probably something along the lines of "Why the hell did you guys make a gigantic patch of poison in the middle of the Pacific?" Also, I'd like to know what you guys think of my [url=http://www.facepunch.com/showpost.php?p=20404356&postcount=64]earlier response[/url]. [editline]06:20PM[/editline] [QUOTE=Hunterbrute;20421737]I just want to know if its going to be legal to sex up a dolphin still.[/QUOTE] So long as they are above the age of consent in their culture. [editline]06:21PM[/editline] Otherwise you will be sent to jail for rape.

[QUOTE=Eli Vance;20421711]Number one Gold Member. They'd hate us if they saw our true history.[/QUOTE] You kidding me? Dolphins are violent motherfuckers.

Dolphins are douche nozzles.

[QUOTE=Lankist;20422764]Dolphins are douche nozzles.[/QUOTE] Douche nozzles who if declared to be sentient persons we can have sex with. :3:

[QUOTE=Hunterbrute;20423012]Douche nozzles who if declared to be sentient persons we can have sex with. :3:[/QUOTE] Well no, it just means it would be rape instead of bestiality.

[QUOTE=Mr. Mcguffin;20423344]Well no, it just means it would be rape instead of bestiality.[/QUOTE] What if the dolphin did the raping? "Officer I swear! I was just having a late night swim and he came up and took advantage of me! He raped ME!"

[QUOTE=OvB;20423443]What if the dolphin did the raping? "Officer I swear! I was just having a late night swim and he came up and took advantage of me! He raped ME!"[/QUOTE] You'd be dead if that happened.

derp nevermind

[QUOTE=Mr. Mcguffin;20423344]Well no, it just means it would be rape instead of bestiality.[/QUOTE] Rape is fine too. That way it will be easier to shoot those who commit such atrocities.

If the study proves conclusive, I think that it does indeed qualify dolphins as people, at the very least. Even if they aren't quite as sophisticated in their intelligence as humans.

So, in its entirety, this thread is divided like this: Part 1: Dolphins are smart / Dolphins are not smart enough. Part 2: Dolphins are underwater Jesus / Dolphins are fucked up bastards. Part 3: So we can now have sex with them / DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!

[QUOTE=gufu;20423649]So, in its entirety, this thread is divided like this: Part 1: Dolphins are smart / Dolphins are not smart enough. Part 2: Dolphins are underwater Jesus / Dolphins are fucked up bastards. Part 3: So we can now have sex with them / DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?![/QUOTE] The internet is a beautiful thing.

Well if it wasn't illegal and my morals were swayed by alcohol, I might fuck a dolphin.

[QUOTE=breakyourfac;20399930]I, for one, welcome our new dolphin overlords.[/QUOTE] Good Simpsons reference mate.

[QUOTE=Hunterbrute;20423012]Douche nozzles who if declared to be sentient persons we can have sex with. :3:[/QUOTE] Can you please shut up? Some of us are trying to have a debate here.