Putin orders part of the Russian Navy to head to Australia - Polidicks

[QUOTE=unidentified;46473652]Actually, Australia is historically russian territory. Besides - it's not an invasion fleet, it's a humanitarium help - obviously Australia can't take this amount of Uranium on their own. There also might be some ethnic russians that needs protection from nazi, you never know where nazis can be.[/QUOTE] hi putin

[QUOTE=mdeceiver79;46470591]Its one thing to prepare incase of trouble. Its another thing to jump the gun and report Russian ships in neutral waters as "coming for australia". Its not about being naive its about not being irresponsible.[/QUOTE] This is just the international political version of hovering your finger 2 inches from someone face and going "I'm not touching you". Russia loves that game.

you guys act like this is the end of the world, when every major military power in the world does this all the time. I mean fuck, I can practically guarantee NATO's probably doing this right now somewhere near the middle east/africa. yes, is is russia proving it's military might and dominance, but it's nothing compared to americas show of force in the middle east, which has lead to many many civilian casualties.

[QUOTE=JumpinJackFlash;46473591]... You guys are so fucked. Maybe you should settle this in a drinking competition, but instead of normal alcohol you're drinking distilled spider venom or something fucking crazy like that. You know, whatever the hell it is you mutants (and you are mutants, I saw Mad Max, I know) drink down there because it sure as hell isn't Fosters, 'Stralian for beer. I'm pretty sure that's 'Stralian for piss, canned, and then sent to America and we happily drink it. Anyway aside from our weird dietary habits, I'm certain the Russians wouldn't be able to drink your kangaroo scorpion whiskey, and they'd all die, and you'd get some cool ships! Hell yes! You can thank America later for this awesome plan.[/QUOTE] well we're not gonna send all of our best and brightest beers & spirits abroad... aussies know not to drink fosters, cause it really ain't australian :wink: I could go on about what we drink but it'd take a while to even finish the list we'll just paradrop a few boxes of goon onto the ships, cause the Russians will be horrified to be paying $35-40 for decent vodka from ze motherland

WE'RE FUCKEN FULL ABBOTT WILL STOP THE BOATS

[QUOTE=Vlevs;46470012]In the news next week: Tasmania votes to reunite with Russia.[/QUOTE] Currently living in Tasmania. It's enough of a shithole that not much would change if we get annexed by Russia.

[QUOTE=Cakebatyr;46470033]Australia is too scary, they've got six subs. Six of them don't work, but they're still scary.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't even worry about the subs not working. We'll be able to respond in a timely fashion with our new F-35s, so long as the Russian ships plan to stay there till 2020 at the earliest

Gotta love Australia's media: [t]https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/p600x600/1506027_733021590120224_8556717780951142158_n.jpg?oh=d85e81351481af6f6289415857badc6d&oe=54E22EF4&__gda__=1423436945_e7c7f51f6ad517ea01ae5af0e0075bd6[/t]

bring'en gun-boat diplomacy back from the bottom of the ocean [editline]13th November 2014[/editline] on a side note, gunboat diplomacy only works when one party is very technologically inferior to the other, now i'm no expert in austrailian navy or military for that matter, but i'd assume they're at least one of the more capable navies in the region, seeing as how they [I]are[/I] the region, and rely very heavily on maritime for all of their trade being a giant island [sp](i use island metaphorically, they are infact a continent)[/sp]

[QUOTE=Sableye;46477425]bring'en [B]gun-boat diplomacy [/B]back from the bottom of the ocean [editline]13th November 2014[/editline] on a side note, gunboat diplomacy only works when one party is very technologically inferior to the other, now i'm no expert in austrailian navy or military for that matter, but i'd assume they're at least one of the more capable navies in the region, seeing as how they [I]are[/I] the region, and rely very heavily on maritime for all of their trade being a giant island [sp](i use island metaphorically, they are infact a continent)[/sp][/QUOTE] its not like it ever died to begin with, what do you think carriers in our current day are for to begin with, power projection is basically their main purpose, and guess who has more carriers than anyone.

we should sink the bastards

I haven't seen this said here yet, but Russia always send ships for the G20/APEC/international meetings/conferences. Even the USA got a ship. This is not unusual for them.

[QUOTE=AWarGuy;46477412]Gotta love Australia's media: [t]https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/p600x600/1506027_733021590120224_8556717780951142158_n.jpg?oh=d85e81351481af6f6289415857badc6d&oe=54E22EF4&__gda__=1423436945_e7c7f51f6ad517ea01ae5af0e0075bd6[/t][/QUOTE] I'll always love the Murdoch front headline images, should be an art

85% of the Australian population lives within 31 miles of the coast. You're all fucked

[QUOTE=AWarGuy;46477412]Gotta love Australia's media: [t]https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/p600x600/1506027_733021590120224_8556717780951142158_n.jpg?oh=d85e81351481af6f6289415857badc6d&oe=54E22EF4&__gda__=1423436945_e7c7f51f6ad517ea01ae5af0e0075bd6[/t][/QUOTE] I went to my cafe this morning and saw that. I burst out laughing. Herald Sun is a joke of a newspaper

[QUOTE=TheTalon;46478636]85% of the Australian population lives within 31 miles of the coast. You're all fucked[/QUOTE] Australians will just add it to the list of things there that can kill them

[QUOTE=Sableye;46477425]gunboat diplomacy only works when one party is very technologically inferior to the other, now i'm no expert in austrailian navy or military for that matter, but i'd assume they're at least one of the more capable navies in the region, seeing as how they [I]are[/I] the region, and rely very heavily on maritime for all of their trade being a giant island.[/QUOTE] Well... The Australian Navy has 12 frigates. The 4 Adelaide class frigates are moderately capable, they have anti-ship missiles (albeit semi-obsolescent system that can only fire one missile at a time), anti-air missiles (only 8 total) and a single 20mm gatling gun for point defence. The 8 ship Anzac class are fairly useless. No anti-ship capabilities (unless you count the deck gun), the same 8 anti-air missiles for self defence (frigates and destroyers more normally carry 30-90) and no gatling gun. No offensive capabilities and very limited defense. Now the Russian destroyer might not be up to much missile wise (mostly an anti-sub platform), but the Varyag alone "outguns" the entire RAN in both offense and defense, and the frigate is modern and powerful. Not an exaggeration to say those 3 ships might destroy the whole Australian Navy if it came to a fight.

[QUOTE=AlexConnor;46479839]Well... The Australian Navy has 12 frigates. The 4 Adelaide class frigates are moderately capable, they have anti-ship missiles (albeit semi-obsolescent system that can only fire one missile at a time), anti-air missiles (only 8 total) and a single 20mm gatling gun for point defence. The 8 ship Anzac class are fairly useless. No anti-ship capabilities (unless you count the deck gun), the same 8 anti-air missiles for self defence (frigates and destroyers more normally carry 30-90) and no gatling gun. No offensive capabilities and very limited defense. Now the Russian destroyer might not be up to much missile wise (mostly an anti-sub platform), but the Varyag alone "outguns" the entire RAN in both offense and defense, and the frigate is modern and powerful. Not an exaggeration to say those 3 ships might destroy the whole Australian Navy if it came to a fight.[/QUOTE] Forgot the shark fleet.

[QUOTE=andy85258;46473610]Im sure itll be the worst thing since the emu war.[/QUOTE] I had no idea what the emu war was about but upon looking it up, I bursted out with laughing. Also good to see that Facepunch has australian armchair generals that are up for the task.

[QUOTE=AlexConnor;46479839]Well... The Australian Navy has 12 frigates. The 4 Adelaide class frigates are moderately capable, they have anti-ship missiles (albeit semi-obsolescent system that can only fire one missile at a time), anti-air missiles (only 8 total) and a single 20mm gatling gun for point defence. The 8 ship Anzac class are fairly useless. No anti-ship capabilities (unless you count the deck gun), the same 8 anti-air missiles for self defence (frigates and destroyers more normally carry 30-90) and no gatling gun. No offensive capabilities and very limited defense. Now the Russian destroyer might not be up to much missile wise (mostly an anti-sub platform), but the Varyag alone "outguns" the entire RAN in both offense and defense, and the frigate is modern and powerful. Not an exaggeration to say those 3 ships might destroy the whole Australian Navy if it came to a fight.[/QUOTE] Our best chance would be to hit them with Harpoon ASM's launched from RAAF F/A-18F's based out of mainland air bases... unless the Kuznetsov rocks up.

With a 97.8% voter turnout, Australia votes to reunite with Russia

[QUOTE=Moustacheman;46480192]With a 97.8% voter turnout, Australia votes to reunite with Russia[/QUOTE] They shouldn't have let the drop bears vote, damn it!

[QUOTE=gufu;46485492]They shouldn't have let the drop bears vote, damn it![/QUOTE] Ninja'd my joke about kangaroo voters and 146 percents :(