• WSJ: Young women in college need to smarten up and start hubby-hunting
    219 replies, posted
[QUOTE=Devodiere;43918765]So to women who want a family and kids, you tell them that's stupid and they'll just find someone they love one of these days? People don't live forever and women talk about their biological clock ticking for a reason. What happens when things don't fall into place, men don't do all the work for you, and your chances of getting a family are looking slimmer? You would just disregard all of that because it doesn't fit your ideal? Am I understanding right, the article talks about how to get a family and a career far easier by searching young, and your objection is that they shouldn't search at all, just wait for true love?[/QUOTE] when it comes to starting a family and potentially spending the rest of your life with someone do you really wanna go for what's easy?
[QUOTE=Mr. Scorpio;43918880]You have a really strange grasp of how human interaction works. There is no binary choice between HUSBAND SEARCH 0 OR 1. Get this, you can like, meet with people because meeting with people is just a cool thing to do and will probably help you do whatever it is you want to do regardless of the field, and maybe(just maybe) in the course of that you'll find someone who doesn't want you to toss out your dreams of being a neurosurgeon or whatever because you wouldn't be home to clean the bathroom and make sandwiches often enough. And maybe if you can't find a single person who likes you for who you are, isn't categorically against the idea of hooking up with someone who isn't a decade younger than he is, and has a lifestyle and personality that meshes with your own at least enough that you don't feel like being around him is hamstringing your life no matter how far and wide you search then maybe none of the men you know are worth marrying to begin with. You're right, relationships are about give and take. And if your career means a lot to you then anyone you hook up with will have to be able to work with that.[/QUOTE] And what if you don't meet people, your job is your life, and you get to the end of your scenario where no-one you know is worth marrying? Would you have them die alone? The point is to not put your work first in all facets of life, to get out and meet people and possibly find someone, so you don't end up old, lonely and desperate. [QUOTE=Lachz0r;43918895]when it comes to starting a family and potentially spending the rest of your life with someone do you really wanna go for what's easy?[/QUOTE] How did you miss the point so much? How is finding a relationship when you're at a disadvantage and putting in even more work that could've gone to your career any badge of honour?
[QUOTE=Devodiere;43918978]And what if you don't meet people, your job is your life, and you get to the end of your scenario where no-one you know is worth marrying? Would you have them die alone? The point is to not put your work first in all facets of life, to get out and meet people and possibly find someone, so you don't end up old, lonely and desperate. How did you miss the point so much? How is finding a relationship when you're at a disadvantage and putting in even more work that could've gone to your career any badge of honour?[/QUOTE] So would you say that any marriage at all is better than no marriage
you're really going to talk about missing the point?
[QUOTE=be;43916536]Everything is a game! Maintaining friendships is a game, life is a game. There is a goal (even if the goal is to continue the game itself), there are strategies, there are tips & tricks...etc[/QUOTE] Or, you know, you can treat [I]people[/I] like [I]people[/I] instead of like pieces on a goddamn gameboard. You'd realize that relationships aren't a "game" if you did that. Wanna know the best way to get into a relationship? Treat people like people.
[QUOTE=Mr. Scorpio;43918987]So would you say that any marriage at all is better than no marriage[/QUOTE] Or maybe the third option. [quote]The point is to not put your work first in all facets of life, to get out and meet people and possibly find someone, so you don't end up old, lonely and desperate.[/quote]
the point you're missing is that the whole thing about advising people to not necessarily put their career ahead of all things is IRRELEVANT. the point is this moron is saying all this shit that women should specifically be focusing on family, that women should be the ones that compromise their careers, that women need to husband hunt while they're young because men only want them for their looks and youth. SHE LITERALLY SAID MEN WILL BE EMASCULATED BY WOMEN THAT ARE SMARTER OR MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN THEM she's a fucking idiot and THAT'S the point. [editline]15th February 2014[/editline] and my earlier thing was saying that marriage is a huge decision and trying to go for the easiest ways to get married is fucking moronic
[QUOTE=Devodiere;43918998]Or maybe the third option.[/QUOTE] Not what I asked. Let's say we have a person doing what I believe you're saying is the correct course of action. They want to be something like an on call open heart surgeon or something, whatever. They go out and meet people casually, as people are want to do. They don't get into any lasting relationships. Is there a point where they should quit? Is there an age where they should decide, "I'm getting too old to compete in the female market, I need to abandon my dream to make myself more marketable"? This isn't an argument about people who's prime goal in life is to start a family. This is about people who want a career and are being told "What you want is unimportant. Marriage is the prime directive for all women. You are expected to compromise before anyone else." That is what's disgusting. That is the kind of harassment the vast majority of men would never hear.
[QUOTE=be;43916536]Everything is a game! Maintaining friendships is a game, life is a game. There is a goal (even if the goal is to continue the game itself), there are strategies, there are tips & tricks...etc[/QUOTE] Holy shit are you 10? There are no goals in life other then those you set. Life is not a competition unless you make it one. And I would never want to be friends with some jackass who thinks relationships and friendships are a game. Get your head out of your tiny microcosm of society before you start making terrible inferences based on your (lack of) knowledge.
[QUOTE=Lachz0r;43919014]the point you're missing is that the whole thing about advising people to not necessarily put their career ahead of all things is IRRELEVANT. the point is this moron is saying all this shit that women should specifically be focusing on family, that women should be the ones that compromise their careers, that women need to husband hunt while they're young because men only want them for their looks and youth. SHE LITERALLY SAID MEN WILL BE EMASCULATED BY WOMEN THAT ARE SMARTER OR MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN THEM she's a fucking idiot and THAT'S the point. [editline]15th February 2014[/editline] and my earlier thing was saying that marriage is a huge decision and trying to go for the easiest ways to get married is fucking moronic[/QUOTE] You can complain and call it sexist all you want but it doesn't change the fact that for women, dating gets harder the older you are. I don't know what else to say, unless you know better what the dating scene as a woman in her 30s is like. If your complain is about the term easier then let's clarify, it's easier to get into a good relationship and have a family when you're younger. It is also harder to get into a good relationship and have a family if you insist on wearing a bucket on your head 24/7, but I don't think it makes it worth any more. [QUOTE=Mr. Scorpio;43919031]Not what I asked. Let's say we have a person doing what I believe you're saying is the correct course of action. They want to be something like an on call open heart surgeon or something, whatever. They go out and meet people casually, as people are want to do. They don't get into any lasting relationships. Is there a point where they should quit? Is there an age where they should decide, "I'm getting too old to compete in the female market, I need to abandon my dream to make myself more marketable"? This isn't an argument about people who's prime goal in life is to start a family. This is about people who want a career and are being told "What you want is unimportant. Marriage is the prime directive for all women. You are expected to compromise before anyone else." That is what's disgusting. That is the kind of harassment the vast majority of men would never hear.[/QUOTE] I think something went wrong here, because "What you want is unimportant. Marriage is the prime directive for all women. You are expected to compromise before anyone else." is complete bullshit. The entire point is for how women can manage a career and family if they desire both. If you give up on dating and marriage then so be it, but if you want it then it only gets tougher as you get older. If your only complaint is that you think it implies people who don't want to have a family are being obliged to, then everything is resolved.
i'm not talking about worth, i'm talking about looking for an easy marriage to run into is idiotic and probably the reason why the highest divorce rates are among people who get married in their 20s and people who get married before they're 20
I honestly don't understand why women are the only ones who would have a problem dating someone past thirty. This womans logic applies to both sexes so I honestly don't know what she's getting at.
[QUOTE=Kyle902;43919144]I honestly don't understand why women are the only ones who would have a problem dating someone past thirty. This womans logic applies to both sexes so I honestly don't know what she's getting at.[/QUOTE] she thinks men don't like being with women who are as smart or smarter than them so i guess she must be trying to land a husband HA HA
[QUOTE=Lachz0r;43919148]she thinks men don't like being with women who are as smart or smarter than them so i guess she must be trying to land a husband HA HA[/QUOTE] Well then that's in insecurity brought upon by bad upbringing more then anything else. Stupid idea's like this woman's are simply really shitty ways of treating the symptoms of a deeper underlying problem. That problem of course being that gender roles define everything in society.
[QUOTE=Lachz0r;43919143]i'm not talking about worth, i'm talking about looking for an easy marriage to run into is idiotic and probably the reason why the highest divorce rates are among people who get married in their 20s and people who get married before they're 20[/QUOTE] You are talking about worth by defining worth according to divorce rate. Not taking into account long relationships that start in their 20s, people generally settling in more the older they get, and the obvious entropy of longer relationships having more chance to divorce. But of course people who get a degree divorce less so they likely have better relationships, or maybe this idea that divorce rate equals quality is complete crap. [QUOTE=Kyle902;43919144]I honestly don't understand why women are the only ones who would have a problem dating someone past thirty. This womans logic applies to both sexes so I honestly don't know what she's getting at.[/QUOTE] The biggest motivator is that men generally don't want to settle down as much, whereas women in their 30s are getting closer to the end of their reproductive age and for those who want children it becomes a larger motivator. In this case as women generally want commitment more than men want sex, it changes the dynamic in mens favour. Obviously it's still not a walk in the park, but it is different from when people are younger.
[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;43914115]If you're honestly insecure about your wife making more than you, you've got issues.[/QUOTE] If I remember correctly, a little while ago SH had an article with a study that showed that it was actually a pretty common problem, a lot of men were more likely to be depressed if they had a lower income than their wives. My guess is that because of traditional gender roles, men are simply used to the idea that it's their responsibility to be the main provider for their family. When they make less money than their wives, they feel they're unsuccessful in their role as a man.
[QUOTE=Kyle902;43919120]Holy shit are you 10? There are no goals in life other then those you set. Life is not a competition unless you make it one. And I would never want to be friends with some jackass who thinks relationships and friendships are a game. Get your head out of your tiny microcosm of society before you start making terrible inferences based on your (lack of) knowledge.[/QUOTE] Goal of life is to be happy, whatever that may entail. Good game, found out the meaning of life. [editline]15th February 2014[/editline] i don't want to be your friend either, being so aggressive over something that wouldn't even be debated if you weren't blinded by the fact that real life is serious. That makes no difference to me, the parallels are still there. MMO's have no goal besides what you make it, though theoretically, just like real life, it is to be happy. [editline]15th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=milkandcooki;43918992]Or, you know, you can treat [I]people[/I] like [I]people[/I] instead of like pieces on a goddamn gameboard. You'd realize that relationships aren't a "game" if you did that. Wanna know the best way to get into a relationship? Treat people like people.[/QUOTE] You know you can treat people like people and understand their objective worth, right? You can be objective and subjective, just like how you can be emotional and logical. I have two different perspectives, and I understand both of them very well, but when we're talking about truths...well here we are. I don't know why you guys keep on making these weird assumptions because of my opinion on how a lot of things we do are like games. It isn't even a big deal of an opinion, you guys are weird.
[QUOTE=be;43916536]Everything is a game! Maintaining friendships is a game, life is a game. There is a goal (even if the goal is to continue the game itself), there are strategies, there are tips & tricks...etc[/QUOTE] hahaha oh my god [editline]15th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=Lachz0r;43917421]peace, i'm 'quitting to desktop' on this game of an argument[/QUOTE] u forgot to save
[QUOTE=be;43920453]Goal of life is to be happy, whatever that may entail. Good game, found out the meaning of life.[/QUOTE] Stop the presses everyone! Philosophy is dead! This guy just worked it all out in one try! You understand that seeing everything (and from what you've posted, literally everything) as a game is a major sign of sociopathy right? Sociopaths don't see people as people, or their emotions as relevant unless they are to further their own goals. Believing that everything in your life, hurdles, interactions with other people, etc. are merely tasks you need to accomplish to progress to your "goal" is basically sociopathy. Being unable to make the connection that life is much more complex than a series of flag checks and speech tests shows very little empathy for your fellow humans. I'm autistic as fuck and I seem to have more empathy than you. [editline]16th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=be;43920453]You know you can treat people like people and understand their objective worth, right?[/QUOTE] Please, please for the love of God don't tell me you mean a total "objective worth" of a person is possible to calculate? Sure in certain areas people have objective worth, a good programmer is more useful than a train driver for creating a new web browser. But in the grand scheme of things, to believe that others have "objective worth" is fucking ludicrous.
[QUOTE=wraithcat;43916856]Alternatively, do you want to lie on your deathbed and wonder - what if I had taken those choices instead. What if I had followed my dreams, where would I be today.[/QUOTE] You'd still be on your fucking death bed. Great, I'm lying there dying surrounded by piles of money... hooray? I'd rather look back on my memories fondly in my last moments, recall the fun I had with good friends, the intimacy I had with a significant other, etc, etc than just sit there and think, "fuck, I'm loaded," right before death.
[QUOTE=sltungle;43928162]You'd still be on your fucking death bed. Great, I'm lying there dying surrounded by piles of money... hooray? I'd rather look back on my memories fondly in my last moments, recall the fun I had with good friends, the intimacy I had with a significant other, etc, etc than just sit there and think, "fuck, I'm loaded," right before death.[/QUOTE] If being loaded made someone perfectly happy, I'm sure they'd have the opposite view here. This is why the article is a problem, it's one person asserting that their idea of happiness and perfection in life is the one all others like them should embrace. When the reality is nowhere near this. People have their own motives and reasons to be happy. Having a family doesn't make every woman feel like they've succeeded in life, so why say that they should drop their careers in favour of having kids?
[QUOTE=hexpunK;43928205]If being loaded made someone perfectly happy, I'm sure they'd have the opposite view here. This is why the article is a problem, it's one person asserting that their idea of happiness and perfection in life is the one all others like them should embrace. When the reality is nowhere near this. People have their own motives and reasons to be happy. Having a family doesn't make every woman feel like they've succeeded in life, so why say that they should drop their careers in favour of having kids?[/QUOTE] I don't care how you spin it, you're either stupid or have been blinded by the notion of capitalism if you think money is somehow the source of all happiness in life. Money is only as useful as the goods and services you trade it for - that's why we created money in the first place. There's literally NO good reason to merely hoard vast quantities of money if you're not doing anything with it. By telling people that the key to a happy life is a good career you're setting them up for disappointment in the future.
You guys really love to tell people they're wrong about subjective opinions. It's really pretty hilarious.
[QUOTE=sgman91;43928376]You guys really love to tell people they're wrong about subjective opinions. It's really pretty hilarious.[/QUOTE] Don't even start with this handwavium. Opinions can be incorrect. Opinions can be stupid, harmful, outright monstrous. Arguing whether your view if the world is right is one of the things that makes us human. Even if its arguing over subjective matters. [editline]16th February 2014[/editline] [QUOTE=sltungle;43928371]I don't care how you spin it, you're either stupid or have been blinded by the notion of capitalism if you think money is somehow the source of all happiness in life. Money is only as useful as the goods and services you trade it for - that's why we created money in the first place. There's literally NO good reason to merely hoard vast quantities of money if you're not doing anything with it. By telling people that the key to a happy life is a good career you're setting them up for disappointment in the future.[/QUOTE] Right. Telling people "make money or die sad" is wrong. I never said it was right. But if making money makes someone happy, and they are content with just that, why is it a problem?
[QUOTE=hexpunK;43928404]Don't even start with this handwavium. Opinions can be incorrect. Opinions can be stupid, harmful, outright monstrous. Arguing whether your view if the world is right is one of the things that makes us human. Even if its arguing over subjective matters. [editline]16th February 2014[/editline] Right. Telling people "make money or die sad" is wrong. I never said it was right. But if making money makes someone happy, and they are content with just that, why is it a problem?[/QUOTE] Well I'd question if they're really happy to be quite honest, or if they just say they are.
[QUOTE=sltungle;43928441]Well I'd question if they're really happy to be quite honest, or if they just say they are.[/QUOTE] Again, it depends on what makes them happy. You're applying your ideas of happiness to others, which is why I think you're struggling to see my point. They could very well be the happiest they ever have, or ever will, be. That's really down to them.
i think thinking about what you might feel on your deathbed is very stupid
[QUOTE=Lachz0r;43929069]i think thinking about what you might feel on your deathbed is very stupid[/QUOTE] Sick. I'd feel fucking sick.
[QUOTE=hexpunK;43928205]If being loaded made someone perfectly happy, I'm sure they'd have the opposite view here. This is why the article is a problem, it's one person asserting that their idea of happiness and perfection in life is the one all others like them should embrace. When the reality is nowhere near this. People have their own motives and reasons to be happy. Having a family doesn't make every woman feel like they've succeeded in life, so why say that they should drop their careers in favour of having kids?[/QUOTE] Because she's not telling ALL women to embrace starting a family. She's not even telling them to completely drop their careers. Please learn to read an article before trying to argue about what it says.
maybe you should read it? she's saying men will be emasculated by a more successful woman, that men don't want women who are as intelligent or more so than them. she's a fucking idiot and whoever she is telling would benefit alot more from her shutting up
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