'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America - Polidicks

[QUOTE=viper shtf;38857521]Knock it off, dumbass. If you don't like living in a country where the citizens have rights, then move to England, and be a subject.[/QUOTE] We enjoy pretty much just as many rights. We may not have guns, but generally the free healthcare, good education, low crime rates, etc almost makes up for it.

[QUOTE=Stalk;38857282]"This is America. I have rights" The right to own a gun and kill people if you are mentally unstable.[/QUOTE] god fucking dammit does this debate need to be started in EVERY THREAD the article mentions gun control once or twice it's an article about mental illness not about guns

[QUOTE=Sobotnik;38858060]We enjoy pretty much just as many rights. We may not have guns, but generally the free healthcare, good education, low crime rates, etc almost makes up for it.[/QUOTE] Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.

[QUOTE=CommunistCookie;38858000]Tupac is clearly the most reliable source for this kind of issue.[/QUOTE] More than the divorce lawyers making a killing today.

[QUOTE=Starpluck;38857387]The gun was actually illegally acquired. Any legislation impacting purchasing guns is not going to affect stuff like this, which is why restricting guns to prevent crime is idiotic in general.[/QUOTE] Has Gunfox been rubbing off on you, Starpluck?

[QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] That's better than having to pay $7,000 if you break your hand.

[quote]“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”[/quote] Criminal. Absolutely criminal!

[QUOTE=King Tiger;38858171]Has Gunfox been rubbing off on you, Starpluck?[/QUOTE] Identifying and understanding the ineffectiveness of anti-gun legislation doesn't make me a "GunFox"

[QUOTE=MIPS;38858289]Criminal. Absolutely criminal![/QUOTE] I think we need to face the real issue here: [I]School dress codes.[/I]

Whatever that's supposed to imply

[QUOTE=King Tiger;38858171]Has Gunfox been rubbing off on you, Starpluck?[/QUOTE] I disagree with Starpluck on just bout everything but he's right. Gun fox would urge that they kill the people making legislation, then burn down 4 churches and murder activists for things he disagrees with.

I was in a similar situation as her son when growing up. Strict parenting is NOT a good solution. A mother needs to connect with her son on an emotional level, and express herself emotionally. She needs to make him KNOW when he is hurting her, not just punish him for it. Parenting in America is just bad. Our mental health system is bad. It's like a prison, tied down by regulations keeping them from actually helping anyone or caring about anyone. It's a horrible place that you send someone either because you can't handle them or to keep them from killing themselves (even though being there will make them want to ten times more) I spend much of my adolescent life in a school called CYFS. They are a conservative Christian foster system and school for children with behavioral problems (I only went to school there though). They are WAY better and more effective than either of the mental hospitals I've been to, because the staff actually CARE about the students. I don't know if I got over my anger problems because of them, or I just grew out of it and happened to be there at the time. I do know that I developed severe social problems and probably can attribute my lack of sexual attraction to humans to the fact that I was stuck in that place, so it's not the answer. [editline]16th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] Fuck off. Of course taxes pay for it, the reason it's called free health care is because you don't have to pay extremely high prices for it if you can't afford it. I'm fucking sick of people saying "WHY DO THEY CALL IT FREE HEALTH CARE IF ITS NOT FREE LOL." Shut the fuck up. Health care is free the same way education is free. You can't change the definition of free just because you want to make a political statement.

[quote]I am sharing this story because I am Adam Lanza’s mother. I am Dylan Klebold’s and Eric Harris’s mother. I am James Holmes’s mother. I am Jared Loughner’s mother. I am Seung-Hui Cho’s mother. And these boys—and their mothers—need help[/quote] there's something serious wrong with this mom i'll be the one to say it, this whole article rubs off on me the wrong way

[QUOTE=TropicalV2;38858593]there's something serious wrong with this mom i'll be the one to say it, this whole article rubs off on me the wrong way[/QUOTE] maybe the fact that her son threatened to kill her on multiple occasions. [editline]16th December 2012[/editline] i would imagine that'd have a pretty strong mental impact

[QUOTE=TropicalV2;38858593]there's something serious wrong with this mom i'll be the one to say it, this whole article rubs off on me the wrong way[/QUOTE] probably the fact that she's speaking for the other shooters' mothers, as if she seems to think she knows exactly how it was for them by virtue of having a mentally ill son that said, what she had to go through sounds absolutely fucked up and horrible

I want to see a statistical analysis of whether firearms are being used as a luxury or utility before i jump on/off the gun control bandwagon

One thing that gripes me with this mother is that she is treating her kid like a normal kid, a lot of normal kids will flip a shit if you ban them from videogames why would you do something that you know could potentially set him off in a terrible way?

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;38859351]One thing that gripes me with this mother is that she is treating her kid like a normal kid, a lot of normal kids will flip a shit if you ban them from videogames why would you do something that you know could potentially set him off in a terrible way?[/QUOTE] Yeah, I absolutely agree that we need to focusing on mental health and not guns, but the woman who wrote this sounds pretty stupid. That type of parenting isn't good for any kid, let alone one with an actual disability

We have yearly check ups for our eyes, teeth, and physical health. Why on earth do we not have yearly check-ups for our mental health? This has always bothered me.

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;38859351]One thing that gripes me with this mother is that she is treating her kid like a normal kid, a lot of normal kids will flip a shit if you ban them from videogames why would you do something that you know could potentially set him off in a terrible way?[/QUOTE] You are completely missing the point. She is just a regular person, with no special education in mental healthcare. Anything she does is just a guess that it might help or not. Maybe she's tried not treating him normal, and now she tries treating him normal and neither approach works. That's what this article is about. There needs to be in this country a system staffed by people trained in this kind of thing. She, and other families dealing with mentally ill relatives, shouldn't be stuck in a position of having nowhere to turn for help on this. The state or feds won't get involved unless a crime gets committed, then they only get involved for the purpose of setting a prison sentence.

In my opinion, we need to re-open state mental institutions that were closed down in the 60's. Back then, rather then address the serious issues with certain institutions(reports of abuse, mistreatment, etc), the Federal and state governments chose to shutter their hospitals and hand over responsibility to what they called 'the community'. This was a polite way of saying 'we're privatizing the mental health sector, you cities can deal with the problem yourselves'. As it currently stands, receiving mental health is outrageously expensive. Insurance won't cover you if you apply for it after being diagnosed and even then only the more expensive insurance plans cover mental health. While state governments will often pay to send people to private mental hospitals rather than prison, the high cost of this prevents them from sending the number of people that they should. So, I think we need new, reformed state institutions to help cure mentally ill people and, if they are unable to cope with the real world, house them for the duration of their lives in relative comfort. We can have state-run mental institutions without having awful 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'-style hospitals.

[QUOTE=Zeemlapje;38857531]Reading trough the article i could conclude the following; -Single mom -No biological father in the picture Why do we call ourselves civilized yet men & women are creating babies just to have them raised by a single mom? Tupac already warned about this ages ago in multiple raps. Raising a boy as single mom isn't a walk trough the park, they need a good rolemodel so they do not turn into savages.[/QUOTE] Or maybe after the kids were born the parents started getting pissed off at each other and divorced, then dad moved away etc. Isn't this mom getting 240k a year from the dad who is some vice president of a company? It's not like the dad looked at the mom right as their first kid was born and went "k have fun taking care of the kids im out of here loser."

I've worked as a behavioral counselor that works with developmentally disabled children to try and implement behavioral plans to fix whatever problem behaviors they have (in home treatment). I had two very violent clients both around the ages of 14-16. My first one was over 6 feet tall and had very violent outbursts. Because of his size it was incredibly difficult and dangerous to restrain him. Little things set them off like not being able to get what they want (impossible to achieve items or very impractical) or being asked to do something (doing a puzzle, following us when traveling, telling them not to touch something in a public place, etc). My co-workers and I have our fair share of lumps. I got hit by a large toy cash register as he destroyed a doctors office giving me a very mild concussion. My friend who worked with me has gotten bitten and headbutted, we all got hit by his long arms at one point. One co-worker wasnt so lucky, she got sent to the hospital with a concussion and missed work for a few weeks. After a few months we had to drop the case, it was just too violent for our resources and procedures. My second client was non verbal so imagine trying to figure out what he wanted before he blew a fuse and attacked you or worse, himself (he would hit himself, headbutt the wall, slam his hands into window and break it). He was a biter, he got me my first day but i learned to avoid it after that. I have to say these kids really are strong when they rage, i dont intend to be funny but retard strength is kinda true. They put everything into hurting anyone around them or themselves and its very hard to take them down by procedure without hurting them. I guess what i have to say about this is that, well the way they think is incredibly irrational at times and its very hard to talk them down. Sure, we would be upset if we got a punishment but there needs to be rules, bad behavior cannot be allowed otherwise they think its ok to obsess over a locked door, or bang their head on a wall, or hit their mom. I honestly dont know how parents do it, i was wiped out by the end of the day from being on edge having to be ready for anything at any moment.

Say what you want, single parenting (Usually single moms) greatly increases the chance for mental illness/ problems later on in life. A father figure is needed. This is probably one of the factors in this, and more commonly seen in black communitys.

what disgusts me the most is what first happened when she called the cops. probably because it's happened to me more than once. my actual shrink, who's like overqualified, was disgusted himself in how i'm totally mistreated at the hospital. me and him agree the best place to go when you're freaking out IS NOT a fucking public hospital. they don't know what the fuck they're doing. there needs to be fuckloads more attention paid to mental health than there is. [editline]17th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;38861193]tard strength[/QUOTE] i'm going to give my best unqualified guess and say they probably get more adrenaline. i've been "frenzied" before and the world around me was like hot butter.

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;38861284]Say what you want, single parenting (Usually single moms) greatly increases the chance for mental illness/ problems later on in life. A father figure is needed. This is probably one of the factors in this, and more commonly seen in black communitys.[/QUOTE] Except his parents divorced less than 3 years ago, meaning he was already 17. From what I've read, the divorce wasn't at all bad(her husband agreed to let her keep the house and willingly paid enough alimony to support their middle class lifestyle). Ryan Lanza also claimed his brother still stayed with his father for most of the holidays and the summer. Claiming this as a result having no father figure is just a baseless claim, man.

[QUOTE=Gordy H.;38861398]Except his parents divorced less than 3 years ago, meaning he was already 17. From what I've read, the divorce wasn't at all bad(her husband agreed to let her keep the house and willingly paid enough alimony to support their middle class lifestyle). Ryan Lanza also claimed his brother still stayed with his father for most of the holidays and the summer. Claiming this as a result having no father figure is just a baseless claim, man.[/QUOTE] The way I see it, the father practically abandoned ship and found some new wife. So perhaps his father would have prevented his wife from being killed, etc.

Claiming people actually require fathers is completely misogynistic imo but that's not a discussion for here. I think mental health needs to be taken much more seriously.

[QUOTE=EmperorKabuto;38861617]Claiming people actually require fathers is completely misogynistic imo but that's not a discussion for here. I think mental health needs to be taken much more seriously.[/QUOTE] currently what generally happens is people have an episode then get sent to the hospital, put on a horse's dose (unnecessarily most of the time) of antipsychotics, kept for a night or two then sent home.

[QUOTE=Occlusion;38857807]Does any country have a good system for dealing with the mentally ill? You see stats for best health and such, but never mental wellbeing.[/QUOTE] Surely any country with free healthcare? I mean as long as they aren't one of those countries with free healthcare that locks away anyone with mental health issues. I was talking about this with an American earlier and they were telling me how expensive consultations and medication are, I think thats one of the key problems IMO. [editline]17th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] It's free at the point of use, that is all that matters.