'I Am Adam Lanza's Mother': A Mom's Perspective On The Mental Illness Conversation In America - Polidicks

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;38861284]Say what you want, single parenting (Usually single moms) greatly increases the chance for mental illness/ problems later on in life. A father figure is needed. This is probably one of the factors in this, and more commonly seen in black communitys.[/QUOTE] Not really. I was raised by a single parent for the duration of my entire life. It took a heavy toll on my mother, it made her aggresive. Peers claim that I'm friendly and social, though I'm doubtful about that.

What does the mom want people to do with the child? She doesn't want him in jail yet the only other option is a mental hospital, which she would not like I assume. She thinks her son needs help yet nothing has helped him. They could try therapy but what would he do? They'd try to talk about it and the boy would threaten to kill the therapist, and no therapist is going to deal with that. He'll get kicked out of the therapy, and when he goes to a psychtraist, they already did medicine (which didn't work). The only other 2 options are a mental hospital or jail, which she wants neither (I assume). What does she want the government to do?

[QUOTE=mlockha;38861878]What does the mom want people to do with the child? She doesn't want him in jail yet the only other option is a mental hospital, which she would not like I assume. She thinks her son needs help yet nothing has helped him. They could try therapy but what would he do? They'd try to talk about it and the boy would threaten to kill the therapist, and no therapist is going to deal with that. He'll get kicked out of the therapy, and when he goes to a psychtraist, they already did medicine (which didn't work). The only other 2 options are a mental hospital or jail, which she wants neither (I assume). What does she want the government to do?[/QUOTE] There were no mental hospitals her son could be send to.

First, I think someone mentioned this earlier: [URL="http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/13/magazine/can-you-call-a-9-year-old-a-psychopath.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0"]Can You Call a 9-Year-Old a Psychopath?[/URL] Second, I have to applaud this mother. She didn't let herself be manipulated by a threat of suicide, and took proper action based on it. If I had half the chutzpah she demonstrated, I would be able to call my former stalker/exe "my former stalker/friend".

Please fix this country's healthcare system. I just had to waste $10,000 on getting a fucking varicocelectomy.

[QUOTE=mlockha;38861878]What does the mom want people to do with the child? She doesn't want him in jail yet the only other option is a mental hospital, which she would not like I assume. She thinks her son needs help yet nothing has helped him. They could try therapy but what would he do? They'd try to talk about it and the boy would threaten to kill the therapist, and no therapist is going to deal with that. He'll get kicked out of the therapy, and when he goes to a psychtraist, they already did medicine (which didn't work). The only other 2 options are a mental hospital or jail, which she wants neither (I assume). What does she want the government to do?[/QUOTE] So that's the only two choices, prison or a mental hospital as we know them? Look into the type of facilities wealthy people send their family members. Those are not institutional, they are very residential type settings. They are staffed by trained and experienced doctors and nurses so the patients get the care they need. Now the question is why can't everyone have access to that type of mental health care? Is it worth it to save the tax dollars and rely on just locking people up, whether it's in a padded cell or one with steel bars?

imo when someone's obviously a danger to both himself and the people around him (ie this kid) they should be institutionalized

[QUOTE=article;1]A few weeks ago, Michael pulled a knife and threatened to kill me and then himself after I asked him to return his overdue library books[/QUOTE] I just had to pause reading for a moment... It's just. Wow.

[QUOTE=Starpluck;38857387]The gun was actually illegally acquired. Any legislation impacting purchasing guns is not going to affect stuff like this, which is why restricting guns to prevent crime is idiotic in general.[/QUOTE] Except it's not just that simple. The gun was available illegally because so many guns are on the street. There are so many guns on street, because they can be obtained legally. Every illegal gun was bought legally the first time or stolen from a legal vendor. It doesn't take a genius to figure out if there were not even any legal vendors, they amount of guns available, even illegally, would drastically decrease. There is also supply and demand. Less guns would be manufactured too. I wish people would actually think about this instead of just making the simplest possible observation 'BANNING THEM MEANS U CAN STILL GET THEM ILLEGALLY'. It's just not thinking about it. At all.

[QUOTE=Cpn Crunch21;38861193]I've worked as a behavioral counselor that works with developmentally disabled children to try and implement behavioral plans to fix whatever problem behaviors they have (in home treatment). I had two very violent clients both around the ages of 14-16. My first one was over 6 feet tall and had very violent outbursts. Because of his size it was incredibly difficult and dangerous to restrain him. Little things set them off like not being able to get what they want (impossible to achieve items or very impractical) or being asked to do something (doing a puzzle, following us when traveling, telling them not to touch something in a public place, etc). My co-workers and I have our fair share of lumps. I got hit by a large toy cash register as he destroyed a doctors office giving me a very mild concussion. My friend who worked with me has gotten bitten and headbutted, we all got hit by his long arms at one point. One co-worker wasnt so lucky, she got sent to the hospital with a concussion and missed work for a few weeks. After a few months we had to drop the case, it was just too violent for our resources and procedures. My second client was non verbal so imagine trying to figure out what he wanted before he blew a fuse and attacked you or worse, himself (he would hit himself, headbutt the wall, slam his hands into window and break it). He was a biter, he got me my first day but i learned to avoid it after that. I have to say these kids really are strong when they rage, i dont intend to be funny but retard strength is kinda true. They put everything into hurting anyone around them or themselves and its very hard to take them down by procedure without hurting them. I guess what i have to say about this is that, well the way they think is incredibly irrational at times and its very hard to talk them down. Sure, we would be upset if we got a punishment but there needs to be rules, bad behavior cannot be allowed otherwise they think its ok to obsess over a locked door, or bang their head on a wall, or hit their mom. I honestly dont know how parents do it, i was wiped out by the end of the day from being on edge having to be ready for anything at any moment.[/QUOTE] I've also worked with kids with issues like these, and yeah you really need to be on your edge all the time. These were kids in between 6-8 though, and their rage fits were as you can understand somewhat easier to manage. Must be awful dealing with teens/adults who can hurt or even kill you.

The thing is if you just suddenly banned them all a lot of people would be sitting on an awesome monopoly, I know if guns got banned and I had a fuck ton of them Id try find a way to sell them for ridiculous prices on the black market [editline]17th December 2012[/editline] [QUOTE=Rusty100;38863197]Except it's not just that simple. The gun was available illegally because so many guns are on the street. There are so many guns on street, because they can be obtained legally. Every illegal gun was bought legally the first time or stolen from a legal vendor. It doesn't take a genius to figure out if there were not even any legal vendors, they amount of guns available, even illegally, would drastically decrease. There is also supply and demand. Less guns would be manufactured too. I wish people would actually think about this instead of just making the simplest possible observation 'BANNING THEM MEANS U CAN STILL GET THEM ILLEGALLY'. It's just not thinking about it. At all.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] Which decreases the price of healthcare significantly.

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;38859351]One thing that gripes me with this mother is that she is treating her kid like a normal kid, a lot of normal kids will flip a shit if you ban them from videogames why would you do something that you know could potentially set him off in a terrible way?[/QUOTE] The mother did exactly what she should've done. If the kid would get away with anything just because he has mental issues it wouldn't do anything positive to the situation. If anything it only reinforces the behavior, because if the kid is used to getting everything he wants, it only needs that one time when the routine is broken and the kid will throw a fucking massive fit and possibly hurt people. As he is now, he isn't fit for society and that's why he needs to get treatment, because if nothing is done to his behavior he can do anything in the heat of the moment. I can't see why people are blaming the mother for all this.

[QUOTE=Stormcharger;38863213]The thing is if you just suddenly banned them all a lot of people would be sitting on an awesome monopoly, I know if guns got banned and I had a fuck ton of them Id try find a way to sell them for ridiculous prices on the black market[/QUOTE] Buybacks and tough sentences for people who intentionally kept/hide guns, ontop of beefing up the sentences for illegal weapon possession. Ontop of affordable less-than-lethal and non-lethal alternatives, that also requires a license and extensive training to buy and own. Would make a illegal really damn expensive on the black market, and as such a typical home robber or mentally ill person has a much much smaller chance at getting their grubby mitts on one (example). It would basically turn into a illegal luxury, and then they'd be even more careful about using it in the first place..

[QUOTE=Van-man;38863303]Buybacks and tough sentences for people who intentionally kept/hide guns, ontop of beefing up the sentences for illegal weapon possession. Ontop of affordable less-than-lethal and non-lethal alternatives, that also requires a license and extensive training to buy and own. Would make a illegal really damn expensive on the black market, and as such a typical home robber or mentally ill person has a much much smaller chance at getting their grubby mitts on one (example). It would basically turn into a illegal luxury, and then they'd be even more careful about using it in the first place..[/QUOTE] there's no gun registration in my state (or most states for that matter) so they'd have no way of knowing I sold off any of my guns

[QUOTE=snuwoods;38861567]The way I see it, the father practically abandoned ship and found some new wife. So perhaps his father would have prevented his wife from being killed, etc.[/QUOTE] Not really, father wouldn't have been able to do much in this situation except get himself killed as well. If the son had this kind of mental trouble for years even with the father around I don't see what the dad could've done.

[QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] What do American taxes go towards? War? Most of us are perfectly happy to pay into a pot, because we don't draw from it often, making healthcare a damned sight more affordable.

[QUOTE=Rusty100;38863197]Except it's not just that simple. The gun was available illegally because so many guns are on the street. There are so many guns on street, because they can be obtained legally. Every illegal gun was bought legally the first time or stolen from a legal vendor. It doesn't take a genius to figure out if there were not even any legal vendors, they amount of guns available, even illegally, would drastically decrease. There is also supply and demand. Less guns would be manufactured too. I wish people would actually think about this instead of just making the simplest possible observation 'BANNING THEM MEANS U CAN STILL GET THEM ILLEGALLY'. It's just not thinking about it. At all.[/QUOTE] Except there are roughly 250,000,000 privately owned firearms in the USA. If you banned the retail sale of firearms in the U.S. all you'd do is drive the value of firearms on the black market. People wouldn't suddenly stop trying to buy and sell weapons illegally and with 250,000,000 weapons still in circulation, it would take at the very least several decades for the number of illegal firearms in criminal hands to decrease even a modest amount. Never mind the fact that banning the retail sale of firearms would be punishing tens of millions of people for the actions of only a few thousand every year.

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;38861284]Say what you want, single parenting (Usually single moms) greatly increases the chance for mental illness/ problems later on in life. A father figure is needed. This is probably one of the factors in this, and more commonly seen in black communitys.[/QUOTE] Speak for yourself. I know multiple people who grew up without fathers and they are perfectly fine.

[QUOTE=Key_in_skillee;38858447] Fuck off. Of course taxes pay for it, the reason it's called free health care is because you don't have to pay extremely high prices for it if you can't afford it.[/quote] That's not what free means... [quote]I'm fucking sick of people saying "WHY DO THEY CALL IT FREE HEALTH CARE IF ITS NOT FREE LOL." Shut the fuck up. Health care is free the same way education is free. You can't change the definition of free just because you want to make a political statement.[/QUOTE] The reason anyone bothers to comment on the whole "free" thing is because you are describing it in a misleading, inaccurate, and dishonest way. It's not free in any aspect whatsoever, and neither is public school education. You are the only one who is manipulating definitions here.

[QUOTE=Jacam12SUX;38859426]We have yearly check ups for our eyes, teeth, and physical health. Why on earth do we not have yearly check-ups for our mental health? This has always bothered me.[/QUOTE] probably because of the stigma surrounding mental health-related issues

[QUOTE=Noble;38863933]That's not what free means... The reason anyone bothers to comment on the whole "free" thing is because you are describing it in a misleading, inaccurate, and dishonest way. It's not free in any aspect whatsoever, and neither is public school education. You are the only one who is manipulating definitions here.[/QUOTE] What is your point?

[QUOTE=demoguy08;38863973]What is your point?[/QUOTE] That calling it free is dishonest and misleading

[QUOTE=Starpluck;38857387]The gun was actually illegally acquired. Any legislation impacting purchasing guns is not going to affect stuff like this, which is why restricting guns to prevent crime is idiotic in general.[/QUOTE] Somewhere some guy bought that gun legally. With a ban, there wouldn't be guns that could change hands that easily.

If we as a nation was to start talking about the dismal state of the mental health system and how we could make it better, then we could really help these kind of people that have a possibility of doing bad things. This is what this article and mom are trying to do, so please no gun control arguments just try to see what we could do to make it better for everyone by helping people like this in the article.

[QUOTE=Noble;38864055]That calling it free is dishonest and misleading[/QUOTE] A system that's proven to be good for the overall population of a nation, and you're still nitpicking? You have left me fucking baffled there.

[QUOTE=Noble;38864055]That calling it free is dishonest and misleading[/QUOTE] It's called "free at the point of use" Even people who don't pay much in the way of taxes can use it exactly the same amount as somebody who pays a lot. There's no such thing as free health services, because those greedy bastard doctors expect to be PAYED!

[QUOTE=Noble;38864055]That calling it free is dishonest and misleading[/QUOTE] Well if you want to be super literal about it nothing is ever really free.

[QUOTE=Zeemlapje;38857531]Reading trough the article i could conclude the following; -Single mom -No biological father in the picture Why do we call ourselves civilized yet men & women are creating babies just to have them raised by a single mom? Tupac already warned about this ages ago in multiple raps. Raising a boy as single mom isn't a walk trough the park, they need a good rolemodel so they do not turn into savages.[/QUOTE] this actually made me choke. ''multiple raps''. wow. you're a fine specimen.

[QUOTE=viper shtf;38858162]Dude, your healthcare isn't free. Your taxes pay for it.[/QUOTE] And yet we're so far ahead of your healthcare system there.