GA lawmaker proposes Testicular Bill of Rights in response to anti-abortion bill
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On Monday morning, Georgia state Rep. Dar’shun Kendrick sent an email to her legislative counsel, the staffer responsible for writing bills.
Subject line: Testicular “Bill of Rights” Legislation. Importance: High. “Good morning,” Kendrick wrote. “Please have the following legislation drafted.” The 36-year-old Democrat went
on to lay out her objectives as a bulleted list:
Require men to obtain permission from their sexual partner before obtaining a prescription for Viagra. Ban vasectomies in Georgia, and criminalize the doctors who perform them.
Classify sex without a condom as “aggravated assault.” Require paternity testing at 8 weeks of pregnancy, and require expectant fathers to begin paying child support immediately.
Last but not least, Kendrick proposed a 24-hour waiting period on any men wishing to purchase any porn or sex toys in the state of Georgia.
“I’m dead serious,” Kendrick tells Rolling Stone, adding that she expects a draft on her desk by the end of the week. The point, she says, is to “bring awareness to the fact that if you’re
going to legislate our bodies, then we have every right to propose legislation to regulate yours.”
Kendrick is spearheading the legislation, which she admits has little hope of ever passing the Georgia House of Representatives, to highlight the absurdity of HB 481, a bill that
similarly legislates women’s bodies. On Thursday, the Georgia House approved HB 481, which would outlaw most abortions once a doctor can detect a heartbeat in the womb or
around six weeks — before many women even realize they might be pregnant.
It's stupid but so are laws trying to regulate uteruses, so haha go for it.
I can't wait for the hypocrisy to flood in. "But you can't do that, bodies are sacred."
If you think about it, homosexual intercourse is basically murder.
The bill should classify male masturbation as both self-harm and infanticide to drive the message home.
Or maybe instead require a masturbation license and there's only one clinic in the state allowed to issue licenses.
And the people at the clinic are required to be able to perform penile surgery, as well as have recommendation from a nearby (Mormon) hospital. Oh and the clinic doorways need to be able to let hospital gurneys go through them.
Screw that, it needs to be an independent Fiddling Approval Panel with judges there to represent Catholicism, Mormonism, Evangelicalism, Rabbinical Judaism, and Sunni Islam. Applications require unanimous consent from FAP for approval.
And the clinic has to actively watch you to do at least once.
I think Monty Python established long ago that Every Sperm Is Sacred
You should need a license to lawfully have a boner.
"Do you have your W-2s for The Bone Zone?!"
You guys talk in jest but that's basically what people had to do in Trial by Impotence in Ecclesiastical court back in the day so people could get divorces.