• Parents bust teacher's relationship with teen son
    75 replies, posted
People develop at different rates and in different ways. And no, I got your point, I just don't agree with it. Perhaps you didn't get mine though? Let me explain more clearly. My point in bringing up the actual statistics behind your tide pod mention was to point out that people do not magically become more mature by having their 18th birthday. For starters, as has been mentioned earlier, the point where your brain is fully developed is actually closer to 25. 18 years old is just an arbitrarily decided age that means nothing. In fact, the very same paper you just linked points out that the extreme risk taking behavior of most adolescents is actually primarily between the ages of 15 to 24. [quote]The exact biological basis of risk-taking behavior in adolescents remains enigmatic. Adolescents are at their peak of physical strength, resilience, and immune function, yet mortality rates among 15–24 year olds are more than triple the mortality rates of middle school children. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has identified the leading causes of death and illness among adolescents, as illustrated in Figure 5. It is generally held that adolescents take risks to test and define themselves, as risk-taking can be both beneficial and harmful. It can lead to situations where new skills are learned and new experiences can prepare them for future challenges in their lives. Risk-taking serves as a means of discovery about oneself, others, and the world at large. [/quote] So how exactly would being over 18 help here?
people still won't discern the difference between pedophiles and child molesters as if all pedophiles molest children, which isnt the case
I disagree, for reasons I've outlined earlier. Just gonna repost it I guess, but it was a response to someone else so probably won't make perfect sense out of context. while there is certainly potential for abuse with a relationship between two partners of differing age, it is not inherently exploitative. You claim that it is because it would be very easy for an adult to coerce or manipulate someone younger than them. So there's a pretty glaring issue here in that it being possible does not make it automatically the case. The potential for coercion or manipulation does not mean that coercion or manipulation has taken place, it just means the potential exists. And this potential exists in a great deal more relationships than just those involving an age difference. A difference in status, wealth, influence, it's all quite similar. It can all, in some situations, be used to coerce. Pretty big example of it popping up recently with the whole Weinstein controversy. However, a relationship with someone more wealthy or with greater influence than yourself is not and should not be illegal. It is perhaps questionable, and should be since there does exist an extreme potential for abuse there. But again, the potential for abuse does not equate to abuse. The potential that your mechanic could sabotage your car when it's down for repairs does not mean we arrest all autoworkers for attempted murder. Something is not inherently bad simply because there is a potential for it. The question, for me, is whether he's sexually mature enough to have sex in the first place, and I'm not entirely convinced a 13 year old would be. I know for a fact the vast majority aren't, at the very least. However, if someone is sexually mature enough that it would be just fine for them to have sex then that's that, really. Sex is sex, whether its with someone your age or not. It may be questionable for the relationship to be with someone older than you, sure. Much more so with them also being his teacher, that is extremely questionable since there is a great potential for abuse there. But there's also incredible potential for emotional and social manipulation and abuse in a relationship between, say, one of the most popular in the class and another kid who is a bit of an outsider. Despite them being the same age. But again, while it might be a questionable relationship, the potential for abuse existing does not mean that it's abusive. And as for the outrage, well, depends how you loosely define "sexually abusing children". If you mean actual sexual abuse directed at actual children, sure. If you mean any kind of sexual relations, even consensual, with any person below the age of consent, even with adolescents as opposed to actual children, no. The degree of outrage aimed at this sort of """"sexual abuse of children""" is completely out of proportion to an absolutely wacky degree.
People may grow up at different rates and may reach sexual maturity earlier than others but putting a blanket ban on sexual relations between people above and below legal age is the easier and surest way of preventing the widest amount of abuse. Of course people don't magically become more mature by reaching their 18th birthday. But it's a good place to set an arbitrary limit, which is needed in situations like these.
Can't say I remember ever saying that you become capable of making a 100% accurate risk analysis at 18. But if you want to argue against decades of neurological science indicating that the prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped in most people under 16, and doesn't fully mature until 25, be my guest. In the same paper I linked they also mention that a 15-year old's capacity for long term planning is about as good as that of an adult, that's why the cut-off is 16 in most places. As for another point you've brought up; While I'm all for letting pedophiles get the help they need without risk of retribution and that the immediate outrage response isn't helping things, I'm not that keen on letting a known child molester get off easy just because "hey what if maybe this one 13-year old is abnormally mature for his age".
What does this mean really? Other than being a zinger. Alienating people with disorders, or alienating those who want to improve the life of those with disorders, is that really a good thing?
No issue with having sympathy and offering support and resources for those that want to get help and don't offend. Normalizing the behavior and giving them the idea that its totally ok for a 13 year old to have relations with adults is not cool.
i feel like people defending this based on stuff like "well i would've loved to bang my teacher at that age" probably haven't interacted with a teenager in a long time. i remember feeling like i was mature at that age but actually talking to a 13 year old as an adult you realize they really aren't at all. they can be intelligent, they can be talented, but they inherently mentally aren't ready to deal with certain things that adults can. if your only frame of reference is yourself it's hard to realize that because your memories are constantly being reframed in the context of how your brain is now
Even doing the former earns you a lot of backlash.
Not seeing it in this thread. Arguing that consent age laws should be lowered or don't matter isn't supporting treatment for pedophilia, it's encouraging it. It encourages their belief that informed consent is malleable and so the law is just an obstacle to be overcome. Fostering the "You're so mature for your age" belief is a common self justification method for pedophiles regardless of how mature the child actually is. We've made a hard limit at 18 because we have already had it set as the bar for adulthood regarding the law. As an adult you should have the self control to not pursue an illegal relationship, just the same as not attempting to have sex with someone who's clearly said no. Society should be more accepting of people seeking treatment for their urges, but that doesn't absolve them of pursuing them regardless.
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