The Sex Recession - AKA Millenials should be having more sex
297 replies, posted
between this post and your avatar you're gunna be the best creepy old dude ever
I feel your pain. I do 12 hour days 5-6 days a week. At least I have time to hang out with my friends on sundays...
Getting into a relationship is far too much work for what it's worth. Besides I'm completely happy just having my friends.
I'm disappointed you're not posting from New Zealand.
At the risk of sounding like a red-pill jerkbag (stay with me here) this is one of the primary reasons I've stopped asking girls out, like it's an extension of an "anti-male culture" (and I don't like using that term but at least it services the type of mindset I am talking about) that has built up over the last few years. Like, I get it, men can be creepy and I fully support the advances of the feminist movements, but it has come at the expense of social uncertainties that turns any gathering into a minefield. What if I'm creepy and I just don't realize it? Can I say this? Is this an acceptable compliment? I'm sure it's fine overall but I have social anxiety, so I'm already hyper-conscious of my surroundings and actions, so it just becomes an additional layer on top of that.
I'll be honest I am too lazy to look for a partner, the few hours I have each day to do none work stuff are mostly already filled up as well.
Having confidence without being cocky about it goes quite a long way even with some pretty bad flaws. Apparently people are just really bad at judging character though if confidence is seemingly so much more important than other traits.
I'm not exactly living in luxury and between work and helping my family there's a lot in my plate. I don't think I won't actually find love, there's always a possibility someday. But with this current working climate and how things go about in today's time, it's just impractical right now. I'm also not exactly keen on just having sex with anyone casually for kicks, I'd love to have an actual relationship with said person first.
I ain't got time to seed
That means it's not a joke.
I absolutely agree with the confidence without being cocky or arrogant. I wasn't saying at all that confidence is much more important but I apologize for if what I said came out that way. I was just trying to say that it's one of the things that's simple but effective in improving your image to other people.
A couple of years ago, as I began my 20's, I used to be kinda hard to myself because I couldn't find a partner in high school but, as someone with no interest in anything other than an invested relationship, looking back at photos from back then, I think I actually dodged a bullet, I cannot imagine a serious relationship with any of the girls that were part in my class. (even though I'm bi and currently dating a guy, I have such specific tastes for guys that I'm not even factoring that in so for the sake of the argument let's pretend I'm straight)
I'm not interested in hookups/open relationships or just casual sex in general, and I'm not really the sort of person that goes out of their way to interact with people not from my class, which made both my aviation college course and flight school totally unsuitable places for finding a female partner since it's, well, aviation. It's a sausagefest.
At 23, now 24 I finally found someone and it wasn't even in real life, it was freaking VRChat. I'm not complaining though since it worked out.
someone from corporate accidentally emailed the entire business with a proposal to take my plant to 24 hour staggered shifts and I know I'll get dragged into that.
What a time to be alive. Meeting your soulmate over virtual reality. Real sci-fi shit.
no thanks
What's with this fervent hatred of children I keep seeing pop up here and there?
Maybe I'm just a weirdo but having a family and being a dad is my life's dream.
I think not having young kids in the family is partly the problem. Since my niece came along I've become very eager about the idea of having my own kids, which I wasn't eager about before.
I’m the same way. I don’t want kids til my 30s but I definitely know I want kids.
Ah, you were perfectly clear. I'd meant to second what you'd said and kinda segued into an observation on the subject. I probably should've been a bit clearer myself.
Where I am now, I do 12 hour shifts at a PCB assembling plant, mainly doing inspection to see if everything is well assembled. I do 48 hours, 8 more than it should be, but at least I only work 4 days in a row and rest the next 4 days after that.
But the whole thing is running 24 hours a day aswell, with 4 different teams.
By the third day, me and everyone else are already pulling their hair out of boredom and from the fact that we only have about 4 hours of time to do anything after we get home from work during those 4 days, and thats if we want the least bit of rest we can get. It isn't a heavy job, but its really taxing on your mind and attention since you have to be concentrated at all times, but the worst thing is that you have to go on sundays, despite not being allowed to produce anything at all unless you're behind on schedule.
Those 4 days of rest are really good, but a job from 8 to 17 with just the weekend to rest is still better by a mile.
If they do the same to you, but make it even worse than my schedule somehow, like 6 days of 12 hours, I'd recommend you to bail.
We need the cash and we need to work, sure, but you can't work if you're dead or impaired by whatever might happen to you as a direct or somewhat indirect cause of working too many hours.
a lot of things going on
millennials are socially retarded compared to their parents. I don't think thats even worth debating; most millennials readily recognize and admit it. Spending a lot more time preferentially interacting with computer screens means less time developing relationships with physical people. Proximity is the biggest driver of sexual relationships in the first place. This also ties into depression and loneliness, which is apparently high in the millennial generation too.
Male testosterone levels have precipitously dropped, and fertility along with it. Most millennial men assume they're normal because they're beating off to porn all the time, but there is a learned component to pornography too, which is why some draw comparisons to addiction. The telling part is how common is it for millennial men to finally get a real girlfriend and then find out, horrifyingly and embarrassingly, that they have some degree of erectile dysfunction.
Obesity has increased massively. There's more overweight people in most 1st world countries than non overweight (from memory: ~70% USA, ~60% UK, ~60% AU and CA, ~50% DEN and ITA... etc). I dont think it is a stretch to assume that people who arent sexually attractive to one another don't feel like having sex with eachother very often. This also dovetails into the above, since obesity is at least one of the factors driving down male hormonal health , maybe even the largest (pun not intended)
Female mate selection may be increasingly narrow. Possibly also related to above factors. Ive seen incel communities commonly put forth this theory that the dating market is increasingly resembling primitive society where the majority of women had sex with a minority of elite men, while the majority of men died having never passed on their genes. That's a little ridiculous IME, but I do remember reading some studies on college populations where it indeed looked somewhat similar and its certainly true of the online dating market. It would go along way to explain the incel phenomena too, and paints a troubling picture for the future if there are large numbers of frustrated men who feel no attachment to community nor society.
the responses to these issues in the mainstream media are worryingly low brow and/or flippant.
and its just getting worser and worser for people like you and, well, me, and everyone else basicaly
A few months ago, before getting fired... Funny story by the way...
Before getting fired from Bosch, we were basicaly pushed against a wall to work on the summer, around the time we should have 3 weeks of vacations.
It goes like this: the assembly line was made up of 2 teams, morning and afternoon, and we were to get 3 weeks of vacations. One of those weeks was mandatory for everyone because of maintenance work. the other two APPARENTLY were just for "special people".
I was one of the temporary hands drafted into having to do 2 weeks of work instead of going on vacation, getting shifted from the afternoon shift to the morning one. I was pissed, because I got pushed into a wall by 5 different people spitting out the average corporate bulshit of "we own you while you're here, and since you need the money, we can do as we please", and "oh you knew it was gonna be like this, I also was like you!", and the average passive aggressive dismissal threat manipulation. But hey, it was fine. Sure, I'll do it. I even had somewhat of a good time because the people on the morning shift were a whole lot friendlier and not a bunch of dolts constantly on pressure. Plus, if someone pushed them into doing overtime, they all said no and told them to fuck off instead.
Now, where I'm going with this...
We were 5 or 6 temps pushed into doing it. One of which was a mom who's husband has rotating shifts. Because of that, she didn't have anyone to leave her kid with, having to resort to third party care, that costed 200 euros for 2 fucking weeks. She begged to get those weeks off, but nobody even cared. On top of that, she got fired because of downsizing aswell, before being pushed into doing the vacations.
In the end, we all got fired because of downsizing, as said, and for some reason, this kid who had a month of work at most, didn't stay during the summer working because he had no ride to work(if it were me, I'd be fired right then and there), and who has an awful performance and work ethic, didn't get fired at all.
in short, even if you have a kid, people don't give a single fuck about you, and things are somehow getting even worse, with long rotating shifts everywhere you go
its mad
You do you, man. My nerves can't handle children.
It's like people forget how they were made in the first place. Not having a child means putting an end to a line of succession from millions of years ago leading all the way to You today.
I'm not saying that is a good reason alone to have children "because everyone before me did it too" but it's a viewpoint one should perhaps consider. Or maybe not, but creating and/or raising a child is something very special and unique to do in life, even if it seems like the most basic thing to do. It is essential for life and humans to continue existing.
And having children isn't even the main focus here. And I don't really care to comment, but to all users in this thread who voice difficulty in finding female company to fuck around with, I wanna try to share some advice.
I noticed a lot of people saying they are not interesting enough, which may be true but it's not the end. With interesting hobbies, it's pretty easy to attract interest of girls, but the worst thing you can do is pretend to be something you are not. Pretending to impress is the worst thing you can do, because it will only make you, and potentially your partner, stressed out.
Being yourself, no matter how boring it sounds, is really important. But don't reveal everything at once, because surely there are parts of yourself that you want to improve or change about yourself, or things you don't want to say which is fine, and it's not the same as hiding things. For example, it's not a good idea to tell what an utter depressed loser you are when you're on your first date because I told you to "just be yourself bro" but instead, you could take a different approach to a touchy subject by saying you've had some depressing things in life but feel better now.
And also importantly, do not take dating and sex too seriously because again, you don't wanna stress yourself. If you've never been on a date or never had anything intimate with someone, then yeah it might feel hard and something you should be taking seriously, but being laid back and relaxed might carry you even further on your first attempts.
Also, referring to a FP thread; "Fix up and look smart!", relax and you're good to go. Manage your expectations and try again, and don't beat yourself up over some bitches.
Even having had multiple relationships and all of those have gotten intimate, it still stresses me out.
Me too, man. I'm like 10 months into a relationship now and I still stress.
I guess what I meant is that, try to minimize the stress. Try not to be too stressed out, or try not to create any unnecessary stress for yourself by, for example, pretending to be something you are not, or trying too hard to impress someone with every little thing you do or say. That shit is stressful and not healthy at all.
I don't know, I'm not the best to speak on dating and sex, but it's something I've personally learned through self-contemplation and talking to my brother who noticed that I wasn't really acting myself one time, with one girl..
I think "exposure" therapy is about the only way some will overcome their social anxiety.
You just have to get out there, and get used to it. Suffer through awkwardness and anxiety. Guess what? Everyone does. Only the most naturally gifted, or the most self-unaware aren't anxious, and awkward. The rest of us, no matter how comfortable we look, can often suffer through anxiety and awkwardness in social situations. The key is to just go "yeah, I guess that's how I feel, lets just move on". It's very valuable to do this.
We're all in the same boat, and belieiving you're un-redeemable, or that you're just not worth it is silly. Get out, get exposed, get used to it.
The more you do something, the easier it gets to do. It's the premise of "exposure therapy".
Sex, dating, etc, it's not the end all be all of life. It's really not. If you want it, you have to go through some shit to get it, but that's literally how life works, and frankly, it's how it should work.
I've been with my current wife for almost 9 years. We're a pair, and she completes me. But holy fuck does she piss me off sometimes, or vice versa, surely I piss her off sometimes. Again, this is normal, and not something to fear.
I'd love to talk more about this as a 'learned extrovert" for anyone who's interested.
It's usually OTHER peoples kids
Dude, you never won't stress out. I still stress with my wife. It's entirely natural and normal and stress isn't a bad thing. Stress is a stimulus. The reaction is the important thing. Don't let stress break you. You have to react to it as best you can.
Hey man, don't sweat it. I gave up looking for any relationship, then met my fiance playing League of fuckin' Legends of all things. Can happen in the weirdest way, and if it's the right one, you'll know.
Good luck with those hours, my dude.
Exactly this.
"Hey *Zero*, are you ever going to have children?"
"No thank you, I"ve been to Wal-Mart."
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