[Bloomberg] - Wall Street Rule for the #MeToo Era: Avoid Women at All Cost - Sensationalist Headlines

I'm currently the only person working a 4 person job, and have been for two weeks. My apologies for being "hostile", yet when I read something, and feel "oh this is condescending", if I say anything, I get called out for caring about that. I find the double standard very funny.

Oh I figured there was some external stressor because it seemed distinctly different compared to what I've normally seen in your posts. But again by and large I care extremely little about tone policing. There's a million different justifiable reasons someone could be condescending, all of which can get lost on others, especially in online spaces where folks don't know each other, so there's rarely much reason to be overly critical about it.

This is just some bullshit excuse that serial abusers are using to pretend like they're ~afraid~ of "accidentally" being labeled a sexual attacker. In reality the men who feel like they're "walking on eggshells" are probably sexual predators to begin with or at least have done questionable things in the past that weigh on their conscious.

False sexual assault claims are rare though. https://qz.com/980766/the-truth-about-false-rape-accusations/

Er, i started reading this article and it quickly voices the absolute brilliant opinion that "men accused of rape rarely face serious consequences, because they often aren't charged", basing this on the low prosecution rates. Is this writer fucking stupid on purpose? The entire problem with making false allegations on purpose of this nature is that you can do it, never pursue criminal charges, and still get away with ruining the person's life. Like someone was saying with murder there's a dead body to drive the case. Like you've misread your article, it doesnt argue that the claims are rare, it argues that false claims that lead to charges are rare, this entire article is predicated on the premise that as long as there's no pursuit of charges false accusations are a-ok. The fuck?

I think the prospect that is most threatening is that an accusation once it is outspoken can damage your entire private life without even going before a judge, don't get me wrong, the ratio of false accusations to sexual offences going unreported is still way off so most men who follow the "Don't be asshole" rule will most likely be fine. Women still have it harder in nearly every aspect of representation, pay, career advancement, child bearing, perceived attitude etc, though that doesn't mean normal guys don't have valid concerns either. If a particular woman being out to get you or a giant misunderstanding can lead to being shunned in all aspects of life by a false accusation, be it career, relationship or status, that can be a very intimidating outlook, the mere possibility be very frightening, it is a delicate topic no doubt. And since every slime ball who does actually assault women always denies everything all the time everytime, any sign of denial is almost always instantly dismissed. Just simply waving off the concerns that ordinary men might have regarding all this doesn't help much, either. What is needed is some clear communication and understanding where boundaries are to be set plus a healthy dose of common sense/decency/respect, but applying that to the workplace and other facets of life consistently, reality makes things always messy.

Well that's irony for ya.

Yeah, so can being accused of pedophilia, homicide, burglary, DWI, and a host of other crimes. I don't really see a bunch of men speaking out about being falsely labeled as those. NORMAL guys shouldn't be concerned about this at all because they understand boundaries and words. IDK why this discussion always comes down to setting expectations and boundaries, IMO they're pretty fucking clear, don't talk about my body and don't say sexualized shit that you wouldn't say to your mother. It's really not that complicated, decent people have never had to ask about what's 'crossing-the-line' or not.

Just on this note, there is a very strong reason that men are often afraid of doing jobs that require working with children in the west.

Men are barred from working with children constantly because it is assumed that only men are going to abuse children. This leads to a lot of children being abused by women. Fuck off with this "only bad people could possibly have concerns about a society that takes claims alone as fact". The ability to accuse someone of sexual assault is a weapon, and you're acting as if nobody would use it. "Why would they lie?" For the same reasons anyone would ever harm another person. Because you can destroy somebody, and because you're a bad person.

I've never acted like no one ever falsely accuses anyone of sexual assault. My point is that the fear of accusation is blown way out of proportion. I think it's horrible that men are seen by society as predators to kids and I wish that there wasn't such a stigma against men in traditionally female jobs. Likewise I think it's terrible that there are women who don't feel comfortable or welcome in traditionally male dominated jobs. The sensationalization of false sexual assault allegations does nothing but strengthen the divide between gender 'roles' by promoting the idea that men are predators and women use sexual assault claims as a weapon.

The solution here is to stop allowing an unproved claim to ruin's someone life out of court as a society, simply "not sensationalizing the problem so that men feel safer" sounds more like brushing it under the rug. It's analogous to "don't 'sensationalize' actual sexuam assault, because if women don't know about the risks it will make them feel safer."

tbh I think men being sexually assaulted is more likely than men being falsely accused of sexual assault

Thanks Lambeth. Didn't know that only the most common issue deserved attention.

Dawg I wasn't trying to attack you

Just today I read a comment on an Ars article from a male gyno, who mentioned he always had a female nurse in the room like it was the most reasonable thing ever, and anyone who hadn't were just being irresponsible. As a future doc, I don't think it's reasonable that I should treat myself like a potential rapist just because I'm a man. A bunch of my male friends have worked in kindergartens, and it's also just very obvious that female pedagogues have a completely different approach to physicality. One of my friends had a kid crawl up on his lap at one point, and he immediately sat them down on the floor again because he was afraid of how it would look. An acquaintance of a friend was even pretty big news here in Denmark because of a long battle with the US justice system over unsubstantiated pedophilia claims. Worked in a kindergarten, got accused of molestation by a colleague, during the long police interview (iirc) they (falsely) told him that they had footage of him doing it, and he said "well, if you have footage, I must've done it" in exasperation. They took that as him admitting guilt, and he got dragged around for four years before eventually getting reparations from the State and from the colleague who accused him. Not saying that what's going on in the Bloomberg article is reasonable, but the idea that "normal guys" don't have anything to worry about is disingenuous when they obviously do. Personally I'm not too worried, and it's not like we're talking inhuman conditions here, but to say it doesn't exist is just wrong.

You weren’t, but the way you worded your post came across as you downplaying what he was saying. Also IMO, it doesn’t really matter if one issue is more likely than another. Both issues are equal deserving of attention.

i'd say the rate at which something occurs is a pretty big factor in how much attention it deserves