You need to find your own unknown. Seek out that thing that drives you. You're clearly passionate and longing for something, go out into the world and figure out what that something is. It's out there, you just don't know what it is yet.
perhaps so, i just feel so tied down sometimes, but i guess risks are meant to be taken if i want things to be different, eh?
I think you're just painfully ignorant of the realities of living in that time, and place as an average person.
It's nothing like you describe it to be, and frankly, it's just silly romantacism for a lost age that was never like it was written about in the terms given.
There's no such thing as "rejecting modernity", unless you plan to literally become a luddite in which case your life will get considerably worse on average.
Of course things could be better. That's why we work towards progress instead of trying to undo it.
It's entirely your choice to view things as such, and to actualize that destiny with choices. You don't have to.
You can reject modernity for a better future, Modernity in this case would be the current systems we live in.
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