New parents face up to six years of sleep deprivation, study says
85 replies, posted
I just realized I'm physically incapable of having any part in the creation of children. Not sure how that slipped my mind. So I guess I've got no choice in the matter anyway.
Having a kid you don't want or are not prepared to raise is a great way to make a criminal.
I don't think we should veer into the concept of eugenics, guilt for not continuing bloodlines, etc. I think people who are financially able, willing and are well mannered enough to have kids should not be encouraged nor discouraged to do so, and instead simply educated on the pros and cons of having kids versus adopting versus being childless.
There are plenty of people who think having kids will save a failed relationship, when it actually just adds more strain. Only the strongest of relationships can survive having a kid, because it puts parents in the trenches and sees how well the can work together under immense stress. Financially it is a huge drain; physically it is a huge burden. Humans generally do get immense satisfaction from having children though, and there is an evolutionary drive that influences people into making such a choice. Additionally, people want their genes to be passed on and to leave a mark on the world that will persist after they cease to exist. These are valid reasons to have children.
Ultimately while adoption should definitely be encouraged, it's not a good fit for everyone. Additionally, some people would make absolute dogshit parents, but stopping them from conceiving violates their human rights. I don't think making people feel guilty for having or not having kids serves any meaningful purpose.
Having a kid at this point in time just seems insane. The future of the world is so uncertain. I think it would be massively irresponsible even if you are financially sound.
Ah, so it's pretty much my current life then, cool
The future has always been uncertain. By bringing about a new generation is the way we have always solved the problems of the future.
Except steep demographic decline can have devastating effects as well. Unless you live in a country with a currently booming population, the environment isn't really a good argument.
People should stop living in such unnecessarily polluting ways before forcing others to renounce children. Then again, if you want to adopt rather than procreate, it's a perfectly good choice.
Better if I don't have a kid, cos they're gonna turn out to be some fucked-up genetic and psychological mess like me. Best left to the healthier folks.
Having family is the most important thing in my life, and especially since I became an uncle it has made me more eager to have kids once I become financially able. Who cares about six years of sleep deprivation, that's a trivial amount of time in a person's life. Worth the investment of bringing another person into the world, and helping and teaching them. The experiences I've had with my family have been great, can't wait to do that with my own kids.
I've grown up with quite a large family (cousins more than siblings I suppose), so I've always been used to that security net that a family provides. Whatever town I'm in in Essex, I'm probably no further than half an hour away from a relative. And my family has quite a lot of kids in it too, I've got 4 cousins younger than me, 2 Nephews and my cousins between them have 4 kids ranging from 7 to 1 (1 yesterday, bless him). As far as I've recalled I've always wanted to have kids. I'm not financially secure now, me and my girlfriend don't even live together so it's completely off the cards. There really isn't many things in life that are better than your two nephews coming over to visit and play with their uncles, and them running up to you to give you a hug and shout your name excitedly and list all the things they want to do today. When other people say they don't ever want children, it's hard not to sound like a mum on a new-mum facebook page "You just don't know what you're missing!", but that's how I feel. "I value my own time too much" is said by two people, people who actually do stuff and are living their lives, or people who do fuck all with their time.
I'd never tell someone to never have a child, that's their choice, but honestly I'll never want one myself. Being near one in public is infuriating enough and having been with my cousins since they were small just made me enforce my dislike for having children. I love my cousins just like any other family member but I'd never want to go through having my own kid 24/7, it serves me no purpose.
Climate change is fairly certain at this point.
It's not that I don't like kids, I have a niece and I fucking love her, it's just that I know that lowering the current worldwide birthrate is objectively good for the planet and that's why I choose not to have children of my own. How is that so hard to understand?
So, the best thing collectively for us is to.. off ourselves?
I do see the appeal in spending my life with someone and NOT have any children at all, and just enjoy life, but I fail to see your end-game argument here.
His argument is that We, as humans have the ability to tell nature to fuck off and do our own thing. We are influenced by our genetic programming but not controlled by it. Every time we have exercised this ability to defy natures commands it has done good for us in the ways that have manifested as advanced infrastructure, water supply and HVAC as a few examples..
Our ability to defy nature is what has propelled us this far and the argument is that it has done more good than harm for us so why not continue.
Or atleast that's my take.
Scared about what
Passing the buck and taking no personal responsibility for excess doesn't solve anything. Big agriculture is demolishing natural habitats to maximize food production, but who's eating that food? Who's buying it? Big businesses are responsible for immense carbon emissions, but who's supporting them by buying their products? Environmental damage is a problem a HUMAN problem. And while many of the problems we're facing are rooted in systemic issues, pretending those issues don't exist and living your life in as much excess as you want because someone else is having more of an impact than you are is not a sustainable attitude. By all means, fight the people in power who are responsible for making a wildly increasing population unsustainable, that's extremely important to do. But while those unsustainable systems are in place, ignoring your own behavior and pretending like those systems don't exist because they're 'not your fault' is exactly the kind of apathy that makes these problems worse. Saying "it's not MY fault that our agricultural practices aren't sustainable, so it doesn't matter if I have large numbers of children that buy those products and support that industry" only makes the problem worse. Want to make the world sustainable for an increasing population of humans? Great. But do that BEFORE increasing the population of humans. Don't contribute to the problem just because somebody else is "really at fault". Reducing family size by even one child (uh, prior to birth I mean) is the most environmentally beneficial thing you can do.
And the idea that we need to maximize reproduction to enact political change, to the point that we're trying to call people who don't want to reproduce lazy and selfish, is pretty flimsy. Political views are not genetic, adoption allows you to raise a child with your ideals, and political movements just as often stem from counter-culture as they do from people parroting the views of their parents. There are less environmentally harmful ways to achieve political goals than sheer fecundity.
having a kid is as much a selfish act as not having a kid, and there's little wrong with that.
Yes, and I would never argue otherwise. We control the nature and we are beyond evolution. Nothing threatens us, and yes, we've developed ways to shield ourselves from the cold environment even in the middle of the damned Antarctic.
However, I fail to see your argument too. What does any of this have to do with the the argument that "producing children is the worst thing you can do, and we should all stop doing it" and how would we be able to continue developing our "unique abilities" as you say it, without producing children?
Easy to make the decision to not have kids at first but then you realize getting old without kids is some societal pariah shit.
Yeah but this time it's on a complete global scale that affects everyone dispassionately and has most likely already begun its course. I'm not gonna try to convince anyone else to not have kids because I'm not some weird anti-natalist but this is just how I see it.
Like, please don't take it the wrong way, everyone, but...
Having a baby before absolute financial stability is such a bad choice, that I don't understand how can anyone even dare to walk on fire by not using contraceptives. And even then, I honestly don't understand.
Having a kid is such a shift in life...
We should all just return to the womb, the greatest act of selflessness.
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That's fine. I'd rather get a decent amount of sleep, be able to enjoy hobbies that aren't safe around children, and not have a living tornado siren going off in my house at inopportune hours.
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