Cuckolding can be positive for some couples, study says - Sensationalist Headlines

[QUOTE=phygon;53084253]People view things differently. If you would seriously judge your partner for coming forward to you to confide in you about a sexual interest of theirs, you're probably an asshole.[/QUOTE] If you can seriously say that you would defend your partner if they came forward with this and not question it and be cool with it, then it isn't their sexual interest, but yours too. That's different.

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084256]on one hand it is good that people don't feel apprehension about following their kinks, but on the other hand things like BDSM becoming mainstream somewhat takes away from it, makes it less appealing because it doesn't have that taboo aspect to it. getting pegged and whipped isn't as kinky if you know it is something that won't make people squirm.[/QUOTE] A lot of BDSM is done within specific communities, kind of like how gay bars used to be, so I dunno if the taboo aspect exactly applies when they surround themselves with loads of people who, beyond tolerating it, love it.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;53084199]did anyone notice that the study the article cites actually specifies gay men couples exclusively for some reason [URL]https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-1096-0[/URL] [/QUOTE] Because most people never actually click the article, much less click and read the original source. [QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;53084199]I said article, not study the article takes the study out of its context entirely[/QUOTE] Okay how does the article take the study out of context. [QUOTE=BrickInHead;53084246]i'm not into it but if a couple enjoys it who gives a shit? their bedroom is their bedroom. kinkshaming is dumb as fuck. bdsm has plenty of embarrassment shit and no one bats an eye at it anymore.[/QUOTE] Or swinging, which despite being practically the same thing as cuckolding is seen as far less taboo.

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;53084199]did anyone notice that the study the article cites actually specifies gay men couples exclusively for some reason [URL]https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-1096-0[/URL] I said article, not study the article takes the study out of its context entirely[/QUOTE] The study says that it's a sequel, however, and it implies that previous ones with hetero couples found a lot of similar results, with some differences albeit. It's a mainstream journalist outlet, one should never have expectations regarding their presentation of studies. It's kind of erroneous what CNN wrote without linking the other studies and the article itself is dumb as hell but I wouldn't quite say they grossly misrepresented the study.

[QUOTE=OmTheory;53084259]If you can seriously say that you would defend your partner if they came forward with this and not question it, then it isn't their sexual interest, but yours too. That's different.[/QUOTE] Uh, no. If my girlfriend came forward and asked me if I'd be into cucking, I'd just say "Not really, sorry." because it's not something I'm into. That does not mean that I'm into it. Judging people for sexual interest is pointless because it's completely outside of your power. Your partner should feel completely comfortable asking you about anything related to intimacy, since you are the one that they are the closest to sexually.

Fact is, humans are (in general) monogamous, and so people that deviate from that are going to be seen as weird no matter what. And, weird as they are, most fetishes on the internet stay on the internet. I don't have to worry about meeting some girl on tinder and her asking if I could anal vore her.

[QUOTE=phygon;53084271]Uh, no. If my girlfriend came forward and asked me if I'd be into cucking, I'd just say "Not really, sorry." because it's not something I'm into. That does not mean that I'm into it. Judging people for sexual interest is pointless because it's completely outside of your power. Your partner should feel completely comfortable asking you about anything related to intimacy, since you are the one that they are the closest to sexually.[/QUOTE] So basically. your cuckolding. :downs: Saying you don't like something and then immediately saying you might makes no sense. Like I said, its different if you are into it too. Basically, by not being into cuckolding but at the same time allowing your partner to be into cuckolding. You enter a scenario of which the only way to actually meet the sexual demands and desires of your partner is to in fact embrace their cuckold interest. As well as that, would you really even trust your partner if they even came out with something like that? I think not a lot of people talk with experience here with long term relationships, so I don't think the pain and sadness you'd feel of inadequacy is truly reflected. And like what's previously been mentioned, I wouldn't even associate with people who come to this kind of sexual outcome. And if I had, I'd be more pissed at my self for being a bad judge of character.

[QUOTE=phygon;53084253]People view things differently. If you would seriously judge your partner for coming forward to you to confide in you about a sexual interest of theirs, you're probably an asshole.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't want to associate with anybody who lacks the values that would preclude them from even thinking about it. It's not being an asshole; it's a matter of compatibility. It is no different from refusing to date someone of a given personality type.

[QUOTE=OmTheory;53084278]So basically. your cuckolding. :downs:[/QUOTE] Would you care to explain your position instead of shitposting about it [editline]26th January 2018[/editline] [QUOTE=U.S.S.R;53084280]I wouldn't want to associate with anybody who lacks the values that would preclude them from even thinking about it. It's not being an asshole; it's a matter of compatibility. It is no different from refusing to date someone of a given personality type.[/QUOTE] It absolutely is, because if those desires are never acted on, the outcome would be the exact same. The "values that preclude them from even thinking about it" are literally [I]nonexistent[/I], because no matter what your system of values is, you are literally not in control of what you are attracted to.

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;53084280]I wouldn't want to associate with anybody [B]who lacks the values that would preclude them from even thinking about it.[/B] It's not being an asshole; it's a matter of compatibility. It is no different from refusing to date someone of a given personality type.[/QUOTE] Values don't stop people from having or not having kinks. You'll find people who wouldn't particularly date a member of another race, that ain't mean they got racist values necessarily.

[QUOTE=phygon;53084271]Uh, no. If my girlfriend came forward and asked me if I'd be into cucking, I'd just say "Not really, sorry." because it's not something I'm into. That does not mean that I'm into it. Judging people for sexual interest is pointless because it's completely outside of your power. Your partner should feel completely comfortable asking you about anything related to intimacy, since you are the one that they are the closest to sexually.[/QUOTE] i will say it would be a bit odd for the person not getting cucked to approach their partner about cuckolding. i know it would make me feel inadequate, like i'm doing something wrong, if my partner asked me if they wanted me to watch them fuck someone else. it makes more sense to me for the person who wants to be cucked to express that desire first.

[QUOTE=OmTheory;53084278]So basically. your cuckolding. :downs: Saying you don't like something and then immediately saying you might makes no sense. Like I said, its different if you are into it too.[/QUOTE] Ah, the post got expanded. Still doesn't really make any sense, though. I never said that I might. I said that I'd say "I'm not into that", and then that would be it.

[QUOTE=OmTheory;53084278]So basically. your cuckolding. :downs: Saying you don't like something and then immediately saying you might makes no sense. Like I said, its different if you are into it too.[/QUOTE] tbh I'm surprised it took to page three for someone to call someone else a cuck for actually reading and understanding what the article was about. Good job FP.

[QUOTE=Raidyr;53084262]Because most people never actually click the article, much less click and read the original source. Okay how does the article take the study out of context. Or swinging, which despite being practically the same thing as cuckolding is seen as far less taboo.[/QUOTE] Because the study specifies gay men relationships then notes that there's "important" differences between their findings and one they did on heterosexual relationships, mentioning that "gay men who act on their cuckolding fantasies tend to report positive experiences". Then the article uses a photo of two men sharing a woman, and makes no such note that the study was exclusively on "gay men relationships" and found to be different from their heterosexual study when they link it as evidence like this [quote]But, according to a recent study by David Ley, Justin Lehmiller and the writer Dan Savage, acting on cuckolding fantasies can be a largely [url=https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-017-1096-0]positive experience[/url] for many couples, and hardly a sign of weakness.[/quote] Maybe out of context isn't the right phrase, but omitting information/specification or being a little misleading from what their source is saying is what I'm getting at.

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;53084260]A lot of BDSM is done within specific communities, kind of like how gay bars used to be, so I dunno if the taboo aspect exactly applies when they surround themselves with loads of people who, beyond tolerating it, love it.[/QUOTE] there is still an air of intimacy when it is within specific communities, removed from the outside world, a secret that you're in on. if everybody's in on it it just isn't the same.

[QUOTE=Raidyr;53084296]tbh I'm surprised it took to page three for someone to call someone else a cuck for actually reading and understanding what the article was about. Good job FP.[/QUOTE] its the OP again and doesn't make any sense to boot. Why is he cuckolding by not being into cuckolding?

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084294]i will say it would be a bit odd for the person not getting cucked to approach their partner about cuckolding. i know it would make me feel inadequate, like i'm doing something wrong, if my partner asked me if they wanted me to watch them fuck someone else. it makes more sense to me for the person who wants to be cucked to express that desire first.[/QUOTE] You probably shouldn't feel inadequate, a lot of times it will quite literally just be about a kink/novel experience. And that could shift the problem in the opposite direction tbh.

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084299]there is still an air of intimacy when it is within specific communities, removed from the outside world, a secret that you're in on. if everybody's in on it it just isn't the same.[/QUOTE] Yeah taboos can add to the air of a fetish, but getting alongside a lot of people that share it doesn't seem to ruin that aspect

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084294]i will say it would be a bit odd for the person not getting cucked to approach their partner about cuckolding. i know it would make me feel inadequate, like i'm doing something wrong, if my partner asked me if they wanted me to watch them fuck someone else. it makes more sense to me for the person who wants to be cucked to express that desire first.[/QUOTE] I'd definitely feel a bit odd at first but honestly, with the mindbogglingly huge spread of sexual interests that exist, I just don't think I could ever bring myself to really judge anyone I'm with for asking if any fetish of theirs would be something that I'm interested in. I'd probably ask them why they wanted to do it and how it'd play out in their head to better understand why they wanted to do it (which, if it was just the fetish bit, would fix the inadequacy thing) and so that I could do my best to meet it within the bounds of what I'm comfortable with, it wouldn't have to be awkward. I've never had anyone ask me about this particular kink, but I've had girlfriends approach me before about various things that I was just 0% interested in, and that approach has worked pretty dang well.

i too care greatly about what other people do in their bedrooms

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084294]i will say it would be a bit odd for the person not getting cucked to approach their partner about cuckolding. i know it would make me feel inadequate, like i'm doing something wrong, if my partner asked me if they wanted me to watch them fuck someone else. it makes more sense to me for the person who wants to be cucked to express that desire first.[/QUOTE] Maybe it's more about voyeurism? If that happened I'd think maybe it could work if you asked instead to fuck her while someone else watches. If you're comfortable with that, that is. If it [i]had[/i] to be you watching then maybe that'd feel awkward, if you value monogamy

[QUOTE=Ninja Gnome;53084299]there is still an air of intimacy when it is within specific communities, removed from the outside world, a secret that you're in on. if everybody's in on it it just isn't the same.[/QUOTE] Yeah, partly I guess. I don't think it exactly kills the appeal though, as BDSM has really only gotten more practiced as people have become more aware of it. There's the public taboo, but there's the interpersonal relationships between the practitioners that really matter too. And in regards of cuckoldry, I don't think cuckoldry will ever become extremely popular, at least not more than BDSM. Monogamy alone is generally what people seek. And even when people open it up, it tends to be "we can go and fuck other people" or "let's become a poly group with jane and mike." Not exactly cuckoldry, since cuckoldry is kind of a hodgepodge of a couple other kinks like voyeur.

trying to imagine the formative experiences of someone who's into cuckolding depresses me edit: getting cucked the hell out of your mind is not great even figuratively

[QUOTE=idiot;53084336]trying to imagine the formative experiences of someone who's into cuckolding depresses me edit: getting cucked the hell out of your mind is not great even figuratively[/QUOTE] i guess to be the one that gets to fuck some dudes wife is pretty cool

[QUOTE=OmTheory;53084343]i guess to be the one that gets to fuck some dudes wife is pretty cool[/QUOTE] You could do an exchange as well The bull fucks your partner, you watch. And then you switch places and fuck his while he watches.

Trading partners like Pokemon with a bro you trust

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;53084292]Values don't stop people from having or not having kinks. You'll find people who wouldn't particularly date a member of another race, that ain't mean they got racist values necessarily.[/QUOTE] To rephrase: I wouldn't want to associate with someone with the fetish in the first place. I [I]definitely[/I] would walk away from anyone who entertained the idea with me instead of suppressing it. There is nothing wrong with that. Why would I stay with someone who had the gall to ask a question that, given my hypothetical relationship with them, they [I]should know[/I] would hurt just to hear? Why even, for my partner's sake, would I stay with them if I have zero interest in entertaining their desires no matter what? Regardless, my point still stands. People have limited control over their personality, and even less over physical characteristics, and [I]everyone[/I] has preferences they won't compromise on in those categories.

It's a fetish, and a humiliation fetish at that. Of course it's going to seem crazy and fuckin weird. But that's the key thing is that it's a fetish. It's on the same level as a dude getting his balls stepped on by some dominatrix. It isn't some end all be all, 24/7 thing. Most couples do it once in a while cus, spoiler, finding people willing to fuck your s/o and be watched isn't easy :v:

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;53084376]To rephrase: I wouldn't want to associate with someone with the fetish. I [I]definitely[/I] would walk away from anyone who entertained the idea with me instead of suppressing it. There is nothing wrong with that. Why would I stay with someone who had the gall to ask a question that, given my hypothetical relationship with them, they [I]should know[/I] would hurt just to hear? Why even, for my partner's sake, would I stay with someone with desires I have zero interest in entertaining? Regardless, my point still stands. People have limited control over their personality, and even less over physical characteristics, and [I]everyone[/I] has make-or-break preferences in those categories.[/QUOTE] There is absolutely something wrong with wanting your partner to suppress things that they think/feel just because it will hurt your feelings. [quote]Why even, for my partner's sake, would I stay with someone with desires I have zero interest in entertaining?[/quote] Because fetishes aren't the same as sexualities? I was dating a girl that had a rape fantasy that she confided in me. She asked me if I would be comfortable role-playing this situation with her while having sex, which I was [I]extremely[/I] uncomfortable with. Moreover, she knew that I would be uncomfortable with it since I had directly stated before that it wasn't really something that I understood, but she told me anyway because I encourage open dialogue about sexual interests. We talked about it, and as it turns out, some of the most interesting parts of it for her were the domination/loss of control aspects of it. While I was deeply uncomfortable with pretending to rape her, I wasn't uncomfortable at all with trying out restraints and domination, even though I hadn't done them before. Because of this, I was able to meet her interests where I was comfortable. This swings both ways; if you encourage interactions like this in your relationships, then you know for a fact that you'll be able to at least request that you try something without being scorned for it. Honestly though, this extends to more than just sex. Open dialogues about what partners want, how they feel, and what they are/aren't happy with is an extremely easy way to have fulfilling, positive relationships. Making your partner feel like they can't ask certain questions is not a fantastic path to go down.

[QUOTE=U.S.S.R;53084376]To rephrase: I wouldn't want to associate with someone with the fetish in the first place. I [I]definitely[/I] would walk away from anyone who entertained the idea with me instead of suppressing it. There is nothing wrong with that. Why would I stay with someone who had the gall to ask a question that, given my hypothetical relationship with them, they [I]should know[/I] would hurt just to hear? Why even, for my partner's sake, would I stay with them if I have zero interest in entertaining their desires no matter what? Regardless, my point still stands. People have limited control over their personality, and even less over physical characteristics, and [I]everyone[/I] has preferences they won't compromise on in those categories.[/QUOTE]if your partner can't open up about sexual fantasies, even just telling your that's a really bad sign dude Nobody is saying you have to act on them, but if they can't even talk to you without you wanting to dump them, that's a little fucked. Just because your girlfriend loves feet doesn't mean you have to give her a footjob, but outright breaking up with them over having that fetish isnt ok.