Silicon Valley’s $400 Juicer revealed to be unnecessary after journalist uses their hands instead - Sensationalist Headlines

reading the article was the most Silicon Valley thing I've read all year. This is the exact kind of thing Watch_Dogs 2 made fun of the Bay Area for. And I thought pre-peeled oranges sold in protective non-biodegradable plastic containers at Whole Foods was the worst crap to come out of here

They probably would have been better off if they sold the juicer for like $100 instead of $400. Maybe up to $200, if they play up the "we can perform data analysis on your pineapple juice" aspect. Sure, the juicer itself won't get you that "we just sold a pointless machine for $400, yessss" feeling, but a whole lot more people will be able to buy it. And the juice packets are what people are buying it for anyway, which will net you a whole lot more in the long run. And it also just presses the already cut up fruits, rather than doing all of the work other juicers do, which I would [I]assume[/I] is a lot simpler to make mechanically. Then again, there's the factor of people being turned off from it only taking their specific packets, but you can always advertise it as a service with a juicer rather than a juicer with a service.

[QUOTE=Ithon;52132066]wait, this is a juicer [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIO3pRuaDmw[/media] this wifi juicer is a capri sun auto squeezer[/QUOTE] we had this might even still had it that machine is a power-cunt, absolutely amazing

[QUOTE=Last or First;52132261]They probably would have been better off if they sold the juicer for like $100 instead of $400. Maybe up to $200, if they play up the "we can perform data analysis on your pineapple juice" aspect. Sure, the juicer itself won't get you that "we just sold a pointless machine for $400, yessss" feeling, but a whole lot more people will be able to buy it. And the juice packets are what people are buying it for anyway, which will net you a whole lot more in the long run. And it also just presses the already cut up fruits, rather than doing all of the work other juicers do, which I would [I]assume[/I] is a lot simpler to make mechanically. Then again, there's the factor of people being turned off from it only taking their specific packets, but you can always advertise it as a service with a juicer rather than a juicer with a service.[/QUOTE] They should have just partnered up with jamba juice and advertised it as making your favorite jamba juice smoothies at home with IoT service there to make sure it tastes just like it would if you got it from them with the ability to add vitamin boosts so people buy it thinking they're being healthy

I don't know guys, after watching their commercial I think it looks pretty good [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viejY6UZ5Bk[/media]

[URL="https://www.theverge.com/2015/2/5/7986327/keurigs-attempt-to-drm-its-coffee-cups-totally-backfired"]I remember last time a big company tried to implement DRM for foodstuffs.[/URL] [URL="https://arstechnica.com/business/2015/05/keurig-stock-drops-10-percent-says-it-was-wrong-about-drm-coffee-pods/"]It didn't go well[/URL], [URL="https://hackaday.com/2014/12/10/dead-simple-hack-allows-for-rebel-keurig-k-cups/"]especially since it could easily be bypassed[/URL]

[QUOTE=J!NX;52132272]we had this might even still had it that machine is a power-cunt, absolutely amazing[/QUOTE] I used to have one of those, my mom had a habit of impulse buying stuff on infomercials. That was by far the most useful and legit product she ever got. I don't know if it's still around but I remember that thing being awesome. It was loud as shit but it churned out juice in no time.

I was somehow expecting a machine you push fruit and vegies into it to create juice, but i guess not.

[QUOTE=Karmah;52132215]Wait what the fuck You don't put in your own shit and then have it squeeze it? What's the fucking point then, who would buy it?[/QUOTE] Welcome to San Fran-L.A area. The smug yet retarded hipster stereotype is real there.

they charge $30+ for 5 cupfuls of juice bags

[QUOTE=meppers;52132346]they charge $30+ for 5 cupfuls of juice bags[/QUOTE] $6 for a cup of juice, what the actual fuck.

[QUOTE=meppers;52132346]they charge $30+ for 5 cupfuls of juice bags[/QUOTE] I'm still trying to rationalize the pro's of this machine but this thing is like the most hipster-bullshit thing I've seen in my life this is like something an unemployed mbillionaire would buy

DRM for fruit :wow:

[QUOTE=meppers;52132346]they charge $30+ for 5 cupfuls of juice bags[/QUOTE] I should also mention that it's a weekly auto-renewing subscription service, too. $120 a month for fucking juice

[QUOTE=Damjen;52132344]Welcome to San Fran-L.A area. The smug yet retarded hipster stereotype is real there.[/QUOTE] So all I gotta think of some hipster bullshit, pitch it, and I can basically make money out of it?

[QUOTE=Exploders;52132390]So all I gotta think of some hipster bullshit, pitch it, and I can basically make money out of it?[/QUOTE] As long as you properly market it and have it [I]crowdfunded[/I] (because that's hip right now), yeah.

So let me get this straight; they put juice into a bag, then you squeeze the juice out of the bag using a $400 internet-connected squeezer? What the fuck?

Imagine if all food had DRM

There is an idea in the regular delivery of fresh-squeezed juice without preservatives but this is bizarre and ridiculous.

i'm kind of in disbelief at this. what in the world were they thinking?

[QUOTE=Scot;52132405]So let me get this straight; they put juice into a bag, then you squeeze the juice out of the bag using a $400 internet-connected squeezer? What the fuck?[/QUOTE] they put raw, finely-diced fresh produce into a bag and ship it overnight in a 40 degree cardboard cooler this company isn't overcharging their stuff, they just use expensive materials, services, and techniques that aren't needed in the juice industry.

[quote] but they were drawn to the idea of an [B]internet-connected device[/B] that transforms single-serving packets of chopped fruits and vegetables into a refreshing and healthy beverage[/quote] :thinking:

[QUOTE=Untouch;52132640]:thinking:[/QUOTE] I'm waiting for the inevitable malcious exploit that turns them into botnet zombies.

also why do you need the machine to squeeze it, if there's no other process being done, why not just sell the bags in cartons i dont understand what this machine does, is it a 400 dollar internet connected hydraulic press?

[QUOTE=J!NX;52132406]Imagine if all food had DRM[/QUOTE] Monsanto?

[QUOTE=Ithon;52132066]wait, this is a juicer [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIO3pRuaDmw[/media] this wifi juicer is a capri sun auto squeezer[/QUOTE] I had this machine. It was GREAT. My girlfriend at the time once used it but didn't properly lock the spinning knife in place. That was the end of the juicer and almost the end of her too.

[QUOTE=Untouch;52132662]also why do you need the machine to squeeze it, if there's no other process being done, why not just sell the bags in cartons i dont understand what this machine does, is it a 400 dollar internet connected hydraulic press?[/QUOTE] They pitched it as a juicer that precisely controls the force required to squeeze different types of juice and said the packets were full of fruit n shit. The internet aspect was to "control product recalls and device updates as needed for a better customer experience" but lets be fucking real its goddamn DRM for juice boxes. Don't use their bags? "sorry no worky" no internet? no juice. Can't take that risk. Frankly the team that pushed this past investors successfully is a goddamn wizard and I want his autograph. Best damn con artist in the market right now, if it weren't for those pesky kids and their [I]eyeballs and hands.[/I]

[QUOTE=Janus Vesta;52132052]If it just squeezes juice out of a packet it isn't even a juicer either. This is just a mechanical press. Are people in Silicone Valley completely stupid?[/QUOTE] They're not stupid just incredibly detached from the reality of how people live outside of silicone valley in a word: clever-silly

This is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. A fucking JUICER that, not only needs to be connected to the internet, but also can only squeeze pre-made "fruit packs" that cost an arm and a fucking leg. Who the fuck came up with this? Who the fuck is BUYING this? Why? I'm fucking dumbfounded. Just buy a fucking capri sun or something. [editline]21st April 2017[/editline] [video]https://youtu.be/PCRx78Zhj7s[/video]

Honestly, I kind of admire the people behind this. Such an obvious scam, almost transparent in its ineptitude...and they got big companies to fund it.