Upset over divorce, metro Detroit man carries 'warning don't get married ever' sign - Sensationalist Headlines

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;52322605]It's not required in the slightest. I'm pretty sure not a single couple thinks "We [I]need [/I]to get married to use these bureaucratic benefits"[/QUOTE] My girlfriend and I have already discussed that the only reason we'd get married would be for bureaucratic benefits

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;52322605]It's not required in the slightest. I'm pretty sure not a single couple thinks "We [I]need [/I]to get married to use these bureaucratic benefits"[/QUOTE] What other reason is there honestly if you're not religious? You can love someone and live with them without making it into a contract. There's not point getting the law involved in your couple if you don't want anything from it.

Honestly if you don't think the women should be in control the marriage will most likely fall apart as evolution has made them the care takers and the man the providers of food and what not. Which you won't get taken care of it you try to keep control over all of it. To clarify I personally prefer the women have control over more things as I tend to do stupid shit that's bad for me and they are a damn good reason not to. For the general reason see below. Or more less if you can't agree to a balance it's gonna go to shit.

[QUOTE=DELL;52323917]Honestly if you don't think the women should be in control the marriage will most likely fall apart as evolution has made them the care takers and the man the providers of food and what not. Which you won't get taken care of it you try to keep control over all of it. To clarify I personally prefer the women have control over more things as I tend to do stupid shit that's bad for me and they are a damn good reason not to. For the general reason see below. Or more less if you can't agree to a balance it's gonna go to shit.[/QUOTE] Maybe don't use yourself as a metric then This doesn't apply for me what so ever [editline]7th June 2017[/editline] The last sentence is about all that's relevant

[QUOTE=DELL;52323917]Honestly if you don't think the women should be in control the marriage will most likely fall apart as evolution has made them the care takers and the man the providers of food and what not. Which you won't get taken care of it you try to keep control over all of it. To clarify I personally prefer the women have control over more things as I tend to do stupid shit that's bad for me and they are a damn good reason not to. For the general reason see below. Or more less if you can't agree to a balance it's gonna go to shit.[/QUOTE] Seems like the marriages where the woman thinks she owns the man and should be in control are those that lead to divorce and misery. It's men getting taken advantage of by those women unfortunately.

[QUOTE=Laserbeams;52323617]Marriage isn't really arbitrary[/QUOTE] Read you some history.

[QUOTE=Fetret;52323370]You are extremely naive if you really think this. Sometimes it is the only reason for long term couples to get married. "We are pretty much living a married life, we should make it official so we can enjoy some of the benefits at least" is a common line of thought.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=KillerJaguar;52323649]My girlfriend and I have already discussed that the only reason we'd get married would be for bureaucratic benefits[/QUOTE] Well, okay, I'd say that's a very bleak outlook on what is ultimately a symbolic gesture, but alright lol [QUOTE=Kljunas;52323758]What other reason is there honestly if you're not religious? You can love someone and live with them without making it into a contract. There's not point getting the law involved in your couple if you don't want anything from it.[/QUOTE] Traditional symbolism would be my view on it, like most other acts of showing affection except amped up to 11, what with a big celebration and all. Not even in a religious sense, just as a "nice thing". Maybe my country isn't as fucked up with this as other ones? :vs:

[QUOTE=Jarokwa;52324827]marriage is just a waste of money anyway.[/QUOTE] Uh when things don't go bad it's quite literally the opposite And hell even more than just tax and insurance. Married men for example will tend to get more than single men for similar work.

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;52324897]Uh bro when things don't go bad it's quite literally the opposite And hell even more than just tax and insurance. Married men for example will tend to get more than single men for similar work.[/QUOTE] more for the woman to take /s

[QUOTE=thelurker1234;52324897]And hell even more than just tax and insurance. Married men for example will tend to get more than single men for similar work.[/QUOTE] Sounds like something that needs to be changed then

I'll probably get married or at least engaged in the next few years, been with my partner for 6 years, it's just a nice gesture init I get the whole artificial social construct stuff, and I used to think exactly the same and still do a bit. But I think you soften as you get older

[QUOTE=gokiyono;52324904]Sounds like something that needs to be changed then[/QUOTE] Good luck. When I was hired at my current job, I was paid very low to start. My colleague who had started only 5 months previous had a substantially better wage. Why? Because he has two kids and a wife to support. In order to even get him into the company, they had to offer him a better wage to support the externalities he supports. If I had asked for the same amount as he was getting paid, I would be turned down in no short order for the simple element that I don't have those same dependents, don't have the same needs. Is that fair? Not even remotely. I did more work than him, I busted my ass to be of value, is that fair? No, but it's never going to change. Leverage is the name of the game and people with families have more than those without.

[QUOTE=HumanAbyss;52324952]Good luck. When I was hired at my current job, I was paid very low to start. My colleague who had started only 5 months previous had a substantially better wage. Why? Because he has two kids and a wife to support. In order to even get him into the company, they had to offer him a better wage to support the externalities he supports. If I had asked for the same amount as he was getting paid, I would be turned down in no short order for the simple element that I don't have those same dependents, don't have the same needs. Is that fair? Not even remotely. I did more work than him, I busted my ass to be of value, is that fair? No, but it's never going to change. Leverage is the name of the game and people with families have more than those without.[/QUOTE] I suppose I could see why with kids. They're pretty expensive to have and all, and a lot can go wrong. But just straight up getting more for being married is pretty silly.

I don't really want to get married but I'm afraid that if I find the one she's gonna think I don't trust her enough not to marry. But then she's not the one after all I guess :v:

[QUOTE=damnatus;52324987]I don't really want to get married but I'm afraid that if I find the one she's gonna think I don't trust her enough not to marry. But then she's not the one after all I guess :v:[/QUOTE] or you could, like, have a discussion with her about it

Should have signed a pre-nup.

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;52325039]or you could, like, have a discussion with her about it[/QUOTE] That's what I think would happen. We'll talk about it, it turns out she wants to marry and I don't, and it will go downhill from that

[QUOTE=damnatus;52326513]That's what I think would happen. We'll talk about it, it turns out she wants to marry and I don't, and it will go downhill from that[/QUOTE] If not willing to contractually oblige your romantic relationship is enough to bring the relationship down, you probably aren't close enough and familiar enough with each other to get married anyway.

Thus [QUOTE]But then she's not the one after all I guess [/QUOTE]

Prenups ftw

[QUOTE=gokiyono;52324904]Sounds like something that needs to be changed then[/QUOTE] It's not exactly that easy though. To my knowledge the main factor is that when being appraised, they're deemed as more responsible and in "need," hence deserving of better jobs and higher wages. That's a bit of culture that'd be hard to wipe away and he'll, that's assuming it's entirely false as well. Someone with a wife and kids does have more mouths to feed especially because the "ideal" we have is that one parent is the breadwinner.

[QUOTE=Coyoteze;52324385]Well, okay, I'd say that's a very bleak outlook on what is ultimately a symbolic gesture, but alright lol Traditional symbolism would be my view on it, like most other acts of showing affection except amped up to 11, what with a big celebration and all. Not even in a religious sense, just as a "nice thing". Maybe my country isn't as fucked up with this as other ones? :vs:[/QUOTE] We don't need an expensive, symbolic gesture to reaffirm our relationship

I'm all for marriage, to each their own. Traditional, same-sex... It's all the same to me. However, I personally don't want to get married. If you're together and happy, then that's all that matters. Why bother trying to throw it all away by spending hundreds/thousands on one day, and proving your love to someone through a piece of paper, only to spend more money and fill out even more paperwork if it backfires? :v:

Doesn't have to be expensive... you pay a small fee, sign a paper and it's done. There are plenty of reasons why people would want to be married legally even if you don't see the worth in the spiritual act itself.

[QUOTE=meek;52331431]Doesn't have to be expensive... you pay a small fee, sign a paper and it's done. There are plenty of reasons why people would want to be married legally even if you don't see the worth in the spiritual act itself.[/QUOTE] I totally agree. Just go to the damn county courthouse or your beg your church's pastor to do it cheap or free at a family house, and have a small inexpensive party after or elope. That's what I plan to do for my upcoming wedding. Maybe gunna spend 1000 bucks of our money max, we know 3 people that can do the ceremony, uncle's big yard, just a potluck lunch or breakfast w/coffee, booze, and food for maybe 30 peeps and GTFO on a road trip straight after no joke. But I'm not sure how to explain it or plan it for everyone in our families. Probably gunna have to mail condolence cards because I will have to exclude literally 50+ people and they will be sad. :pudge: I never understood modern traditions about throwing some crazy godawful 30k+ generic as fuck wedding with 500 guests. EVERY single super expensive (like 40k+ were a few) one I've been to has been pretty much a bland white snore fest and seemed like nothing more than a way to be a showoff to acquaintances. Society seems to expect us to have a big huge black tie filet mignon catered wedding at the hippest joint. It's one day, and if you really love each other why the fuck should it matter how much money you dropped or where you get married. Plus if you are financially not that well off why would you add the stress if you are trying to pay rent or put a down payment or pay off student loans? I think that whole wedding cost and expectations thing could be a cause of some divorces TBH. As far as the main topic I do think they need to do something about these crazy manipulative nutcases who think it's ok to abuse their spouse and steal everything that their husbands/wives worked for, and dump them in a cardboard box. If I was a judge those fuckers would get the finger and be locked in a nuthouse. Maybe the court system is just overloaded with divorces, hence the lack of the like... quality control I guess? Meh. If my fiance divorced me or I divorced him we wouldn't ruin each other. That and I think society just in general just doesn't respect marriages anymore and people don't think about really trying hard to find a good spouse like they did way back when. I mean it honestly seems like most people in our generation and our parent's generation just aren't willing to put work into their relationships after marriage (or even beforehand). Perhaps the whole hookup/casual sex buddy and leave for the next newest fucktoy mentality has something to do with it? I think we will be seeing more of the effects of this trend on more and more people and children as we get older. I hate seeing little kids getting screwed over and most of my close friends fucked up in school and shit because of all this divorce and cheating and domestic abuse going on. People just need to actually love and respect and to look at people like our great grandparents and grandparents who went through hell and back together for 60+ years. Call me old school but that's just my 2 cents.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52322346]Ugh, I know of someone who got put the wringer as well and made me very skeptical of it all. From a legal point of view, I am curious though - how much can a person safeguard their interests by,say, insisting on a pre-nup agreement in case "till death do us part" turns into "she/he be cray-cray"?[/QUOTE] Prenups won't save you in a lot of cases, depending on how much alligator tears she cries and how slimy her lawyer is the wife can get the agreement thrown out and you're basically screwed.