28 bottles later

Yellow Brick Films first shortfilm:

Dude this was actually very good. I am completely impressed, for your first short film this was great. It had a plot (or at least it picked one up very fluidly halfway through).

Here’s what you did well:

-The scenebuilds were fantastic. You obviously had a LOT of time and effort put into them, they looked absolutely fantastic.
-Some of your camera angles were pretty good. However, I would say NEVER to use the camera SWEP again.
-Your plot was good as well – Most stories are just killing zombies with a stupid goal, but you managed to begin this well, and close it up well too.
-You did a good job capturing the atmosphere of a deserted city – some of the sound effects were very good, such as the music playing at the beginning, and gave a wistful, almost eerie mood.

Here’s a few suggestions:

-Add some sort of filter / colormod. It does not ( and SHOULD not ) be drastic, cough, but anything for the eyes so it doesn’t look as much like plain ol’ bigcity.
-USE CATMULL-ROM CAMERAS. Use the “Duration Editor” to speed up the camera track and make it move faster, I am assuming you don’t know how to do that, as most of your catmull-tracks look the same. I don’t want to see any more of that camera SWEP bullshit, CATMULL is pretty much the way to go for cinematography, and if you’re not doing that, use the camera tool for static, unmoving shots.
-More sound (specifically music) editing – Some of your music, although atmospheric and good, was VERY badly edited in – the music for the zombie eating the screaming girl was MUCH too loud compared to the 28 Days Later music. Balance the audio out, and make small changes when needed.
-Don’t go for such a cliche ending – the nuclear bomb going off was meh, considering that the city was ravaged already. And you showed the ENTIRE bigcity map, which is BAD. It’s painful to look at the lack of props and such, I would have had the helicopter just fly off as opposed to the random nuke just blowing everything up. Unless you’re making a sequel, I would not suggest using the nuke as a way to end it.
-The titling was meh, use some different fonts, spice it up a bit!

Anyways, that’s about it. Your first short film was great, man, you just need to work on some things here and there. It was great though, fantastic first effort. Long, too!

Great work on the video but what is the song at 2:43?

John Murphy - In the House - In a Heartbeat

and thanks FumplesAlt!

I thought some of the jumps from scene to scene were quite abrupt. Like the one where he’s looking at the worker zombie eating the recent woman. Then the zombie looks at him. All of a sudden he’s running away from a colossal horde. It didn’t even built up, it just came out of no where like zombie ghosts.


Apart from that I really liked it

It was really good, even though the nuke at the end was a bit cliché…y(?)

More more more

Yeah, the nuke bit at the end was awful. Probably the worst part of this great short film.

Unless you’re setting up for a sequel involving the govt… but you should have developed the sequel’s plot in this one then a bit

Damn, that’s very nice!

This was awesome :smiley: