Let me start with the bad.
-Your introduction was too long, we do not need to see a third of the video an introduction which isn’t even that interesting.
-The title picture was fail, really low-quality.
-The voices were too low
-The writing for the characters was absolutely horrible, “Hi, I’m here because I really like Justin Bieber, and omigod who just farted?” is not funny, it’s attempting to use pop culture for comedy by saying it in a gay voice and then failing at it.
-You used your own voice for basically every person, just with a different, unfunny spin to each.
-The Numa Numa sequence was overdone, so much longer than it could have been and not that funny.
-And worst of all –
YOU USED ROBOT CHICKEN CUTAWAYS WITH THAT STATIC CRAP! NEVER USE THAT!
Next time , I would consider either finding a writer, or actually writing a script if you haven’t. Also, focus next time less on that intro and more on actual content, the introduction with the double-length theme song was overdone.
Do not be let down though, you have great potential to make your videos awesome, you just need to work on a few things that crushed this one.
would have worked better in 2008
1.“Intro was too long” I really have to agree with you, I shouldn’t make such a long boring intro!
“Little picture/bad quality”: Errrh? When did 720 HD became really low?
Voices are too low: Not in my opinion, but that’s why we can turn the volume up on our speakers
the writing: Well, this was supposed to be random comic stuff, but thanks for telling me this, I will work harder on te script on my next video!
my own voice: actually, this was a friend of mines voice, and who cares if it’s the same tho. aslong it’s not the same ‘voice’, but I can maybe find some more people to do it.
Numa Numa: I thought it was funny enough to get a longer part.
CUTAWAYS: Thanks for letting me know your opinion about that.
Thanks a lot for your feedback, even if I reply a little bit rude back,
I’m glad for it so I can make my next video even better.
Reading Fumples response as a first comment made me not want to watch the video.
Thanks, have a nice day.
The only thing that haven’t said yet.
HEALTH HUD ! MAH EYES ARE BLEEDING.
Lol ye ye… I know, I forgot
What I meant with the picture quality was that you applied a picture file that said “AMERICAN IDOL” after it showed the judges, and that pic was a bit low quality.
Realize though that as you mature as a director you will notice small things like this and eventually become awesome at machinima!
Thats why you shouldn’t really upload your first 2 or 3 g-mod videos.
ahh… Yea I see…
But well, it was my first gmod machinima,
and I’m really glad for this feedback,
I really want to improve my machinimas,
so they can awesome someday,
just need to work hard on them,
and listen to your advices on this forum
I think it’s important to upload your first videos,
so you can get feedback on it, and make your next vids better
Yeah… It’s not particularly right to compare it with the whole ‘never upload your first map’ crap… There’s a quality standard for maps, and if it looks REALLY bad people won’t bother playing it.
Yeah, usually we wont bother to watch it either when we see that the first response on the page verbally strips and rapes it.
Did you place that youtube annotation on the vid to cover the health bar?
Also a re-done name would add a little to it.