best kick/ban reasons?

I am an admin on a gmod build server that has very little rules and is open, so of course there are fail trolls abusing that. now, you can just ban/kick them with something as bland as “rdm.” or, you can give them a reason that causes everyone on the server to laugh over it, which really helps the mood. so im hoping this thread generates a good list of hilarious reasons, and perhaps bring some positivism to these somewhat negative forums

here are some of my own

if you are being kicked for general stupidity;
-Intelligence level: SARAH PALIN
-Your school misses you, go back
-Your intelligence suggests you are the missing link between humans and apes
-this is GMOD, not a grammar school

If you are being kicked for rdm:

  • this aint cawa duty
    -it isnt nice to shoot people
    -Thank you for testing our guns, your assistance is no longer required
  • you 360 no scoping shooting skillz are awesome! Here is my 360 no scoping banning skillz!

If you are being banned for screaming into mic/ voice spam

  • go give birth somewhere else
  • we dont care about your dogs squeaky toy
  • go see a voice therapist
  • go see the FBI, your voice would make a great weopon

post your own silly ban/kick reasons here. you can post from actual events, or just make one up

Aw man, this isn’t a ban or a kick, but it’s kinda related. We have a system on our server called !prompt, in which we send the user a message and they cannot move or interact until it’s answered. It’s designed to be purposely intrusive. Obviously, we get some pretty stupid shit from people who just want the box to go away but this was ridiculous:

Edit:

I’m admin on a TTT server and probably one of the funniest things that happened was a guy (that I permabanned) who mass rdm’d while screaming AFLAC over and over

“I fucking told you to stop using directional gravity”

“Annoying 3 year old Fuck” Is my personal favorite. Usually I just make them up as I go along and they usually involve something sexual and a food for some reason

My personal favorite ban reason was always (raisin).

asshole poncho

You have been banned. Reason: “.”

“nople.”

“Why do either of us play this shitty game?”

Giving stupid reasons is being an unprofessional badmin. As an admin, you are representative of the server as a whole, and you should take pains to maintain an objective, calm, and unbiased attitude. By giving offensive or nonsensical reasons, whether for humor or out of pique, you’re letting your emotions get in the way of your admin duties. Any kick or ban message should be clear, brief, and specific.

RDMing slut.

‘nople.’ is a legit reason. trust me.

these are just a few i thought was funny, i have a lot more but these are good 4 now
big imgs be warned

http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/846954195555233617/09856C6EFBD073780ABD56A0BF29AC9A8405D4CE/

http://cloud-2.steampowered.com/ugc/882985779839319456/62B075E9DBC34CC90755563A20AEE6573BD20527/

I’ve had some pretty fun ones with my server;

“Stop making me look bad on my t rounds”
“I request you shove a large, serrated rake up your ass and get your ghosting buddy to pull it out nice and slow”

Bunch of other stupid shit like that.

Yes let’s all become uptight assholes

jeez man its just a game why should i take pains for it

Bunch of players who thought it be fun to try and troll.

http://puu.sh/51Jb1.png

“What happens when you piss in a volcano?”

It was kick because of RDM, but it was actually not RDM. Sometimes I’m just a very smart (and lucky) Innocent.

So, the story is actually very simple, and quite amusing, and it shows that the wits of a simple Innocent can outgun a pack of Traitorous scumbags trying to hunt you down even in the most daring situations:

The server was very populated, like +20 people, and the Traitors were particularly victorious that round.
There were a whopping 7 traitors left up against the sole remaining Innocent, me.

Before the traitors even realized with their Radars, I had already put my vicious plan into practice. I simply hid in a closed sewers area, and ran around the sewers, making it hard for the Traitors to track me down with the Radar.
The Traitors entered the sewers in packs of 1-2 trying to locate me, very suspiciously so to speak, but alas, I slaughtered them all, one by one.
(Also, my player model was a burned corpse, skull hat, and my weapon of choice was Mac10.)

All the traitors blamed me for RDM and kicked me, but it was probably the most victorious Innocent round I’ve ever taken. The best part was probably their fake bluffing attempts and live-checks. Yeah right, they really took me for a sheep.

“Smoke weed everyday 420 or GTFO!”