Bureau 56. Prologue: Aaron [Comic]

Hello everyone.

I have been talking with local comic makers. And someone of them were saying that I am like others who Is lazy and should not post dates of upcoming comics.
God! Please, its 4 Months till deadline.

Here you go prologue of one of characters from my Story.

http://s30.postimg.org/44nrkze5d/Aaron.jpg

Yes, English shit my, Yes comic is not funny. No you rate and coment anyway.

Some helpful advice for next time:

  1. Speech bubbles are usually round/elliptical with few exception. No matter what program you use, there should be a circle or elliptical shape tool.

  2. Make use of our english-speaking members - I noticed you were asking for grammar help in the threads, make use of their help when you can! I understood your story, it could use a little work though.

  3. Posing was decent. Make use of the ‘finger-poser’ tool in gmod for fine tuning.

Overall, it was a decent first comic. Layout and color editing were top notch, although it was overshadowed by sub-par speech bubbles.

Just a nit-picking side note: According to the HL2 storyline, there is a “suppression field” that blocks all human ability to have children. Kinda throws a monkey-wrench into your prologue, just saying.

  1. about first I can disagree, its just opinion and standart. I do not like to follow standarts…

  2. yeah, I had like 4 guys who promised help me, re-read my stuff etc. after pm, they just ignored me…

  3. Thank you, I will try to improve that Sir.

I should know that. But… I was playing half life 2, long time ago, before speakers were invented ;/ Thanks tho.

I like your style, it’s unique.

I look forward to more from you.

If this is your first comic, then this is really good! I think you should keep your speechbubbles style. Couple of grammar errors though, no biggie. In first slide, second bubble should say “his position” and “whats what happenned” should read “What? What happened?”

I really like the speech bubbles’ style. They look kind of vintage, and go perfect with the CP’s dialogue font.

Looks like I am going to make tutorial for theese bubbles

I literally only just saw this, had no idea you’d actually posted the prologue.

It was okay, although I think the biggest problem is tone. Everything seems serious until the last panel with “FLY BEATCHH” and a metrocop thrown out - a character who’s just lost his wife and unborn child wouldn’t shout that (unless it’s a very corny '80s movie), and a CP flying is just inherently funny. It’s a jarring shift for a final panel.

Oh and as Striker89 mentioned, there are no pregnancies in the HL2 universe. I suppose there could be a story there of a miracle pregnancy, a la Children of Men, but clearly you just didn’t know about it and wrote it casually. Too bad.

The bubbles are okay, they’re interesting and thankfully readable, although I wouldn’t diss regular speechbubbles for being “standard”. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I wasn’t calling anyone “lazy”, but deadlines are a mistake. Usually people either miss them completely or rush stuff to get it done in time.

You should continue this, but settle on a clear tone next time. It could be a bit of a parody and tongue-in-cheek, or just over the top in general.

The “Fly bitch” at the end was unexpected and seemed out of place for the otherwise quite serious atmosphere, none the less, it made me laugh.