Café Confession [The Archangel]

The quasi-immortal man we known simply as The Archangel confesses, briefly, who- or what- he is.

The shadows were a last minute addition. I’m still practicing, so, they may not be too good.

As for the story, I wanted to dwell more into The Archangel’s personal history. So, I briefly told it here. But once again he bears the burden of out living those whom he loves most.

I feel like I have something else to say, but cannot think of it. So, Enjoy.

Hugh Baxter:

Mourning Susan:


Death of Susan:

I really enjoy a story.

I nearly dropped a tear reading the last parts, great writing.

I read it once in Billy Crudup’s Dr. Manhatten voice (where he reveals that the Comedian [sp] is Silk Spectre’s father[/sp] and goes on about the beauty of life) and nearly did the same.

so he’s immortal and he knows peoples deaths :o

is he death then

This is the bit I looked at because I am in a screenshots forum and now I think “this could go in that thread for stuff that doesn’t need a thread because it’s two guys sat there with very minimal editing so it probably took about 15 minutes to make”.

But hey I guess you wrote a story or something like that. I could read and critique that but then again I am not in the Creationism Corner.

So as for the minimal editing… yeah it’s totally Ben_Wolfe; more terrible highlights. Nick’s face looks horrible. Your over-exposure makes for nasty aliasing all over the show too. It’s a shame you insist on this ugly artistic style because your posing and faceposing is generally very good.

The composition is pretty good. Nice, classic camera angle for a conversation across a table.

Speaking more specifically on the posing, Nick’s posing and faceposing is great. That said, Coach’s arm looks stiff; his right shoulder is too far forwards in the socket so it looks like he’s straining to rest is hand on the table. This is partly because he is leaning back in his chair, and yet resting on hand on the table as if he is leaning forwards. The fingerposing on this hand is slightly off too - only the wrist and the tips of the fingers should be naturally resting on the table. Having the fingers flat against the table makes it look like he is applying force downwards, which is uncomfortable and unnatural, unless of course he was getting really pissed off with Nick… but his faceposing and the rest of his body language doesn’t suggest that. As a further nitpick, the little-finger is floating a little. Again, it looks uncomfortable. The fingerposing gripping the glass, however, is excellent.

The floating coke glass is a bit of an irritant, as is the weird way the knife is resting on the plate (and also floating above the table); it’s more usual to rest the knife with the blade inside the plate, not sticking into the air. It looks better and is more stable.

It’s little things like this that niggle me with your pictures. If you’re going to do something so perfectly simple then you might as well make an effort to get things as right as possible. Sure, if someone makes a crappy Michael Bay image with 6 hours spent editing in explosions, and a butter knife is slightly out-of-place, then maybe I’d be less likely to complain. But what you’ve got here is a picture attempting to convey human emotions in a natural human environment that most viewers should understand and empathise with, so tiny errors stand out. This is why drawing human anatomy is the most difficult drawing subject because, unlike drawing a giant robot, every sentient human subconsciously understands ever minute detail of the human form.

Editing-wise, there’s so much more you could have done. I don’t expect everyone to spend 6 hours painting in shadows or whatever (although it would have made a piece like this more realistic and atmospheric) because most viewers are only gonna look at your picture for 5 seconds and not even notice… but there is stuff you could do that wouldn’t take much time and make your pictures infinitely better. I’m not speaking of things regarding editing style (like horrible overblown highlights) but simple aesthetic fixes, like spending five minutes covering up that horrible clipping with Nick’s suit and the sofa, or like fixing stuff you screwed up in the posing, like floating objects.

I guess that’s all I can think of right now. Decent work overall.

In a sense, but also much more. Where Death would simply retrieve and deliver a soul to Heaven or Hell. The Archangel makes the decision. Judges them. He cannot save everyone, and cannot damn everyone. The decision must be made with the utmost scrutiny. He must review the sins against the body and the soul and the gravity of those sins. He must balance the amount of those he saves and damns to redeem himself for a lifetime of sin.

I don’t deny the little work I put into it to reflect the response I desired. I was aware it fit my norm. Given my ‘style’ the lighting in the spot I chose, I knew would give me the overblown highlights. Why I went through with it anyway? Laziness, most likely.

Good point about the fingers.

The floating objects… not much I can say, really.

So, I appreciate the honest criticism as usual.

i see…

I expected Garrus and Shepard talking.

[editline]2nd January 2011[/editline]

Good story.

One of these days I’ll just mix up The Archangel and Garrus.

Garrus Mourning Susan

Archangel Sniping Collectors

Someone has been reading a little Piers Anthony, no?

they should hold starbucks cups :3

Chesty McGee: Winner of ‘Most Constructively Critical Post 2011’

I lack the editing know-how most of you guys seem to have, so I’ll just say that the face posing seems pretty slick, and that the lighting on Nick’s face just rubs me the wrong way, I dunno what it is about it, I just don’t like it :confused:

Meh I wish. The critique was far too specific to this one piece of work and I didn’t offer enough routes of improvement.

I critique critiques now apparently.

Yeah, the little error about the title and the picture is that they appear to be in a diner rather than a café.

Considering that I have little clue to who that is or what it is without looking it up. No. :confused:

I wonder what your type of woman are.

Stay at home wife but Catwoman by night.

He wrote a book called On A Pale Horse. It was about a guy who died, but had a perfect balance of good and evil in his soul, and had killed death, thus requiring him to fill the now empty office.

I guess you might have been watching Dead Like Me.

EDIT: You know, you could probably fix that floating glass everyone is griping about by just cutting it out in GIMP or something and scooting the shadow up a little bit.

I haven’t read the whole story but based on the first few lines it could use some proofreading:

In the first line he says he has never lied. In the second line, he implies that he lied about when something happened. Either he lied about a date, in which case the first line is wrong, or he never specified a date, in which case the second line doesn’t make sense.

It’s crucial to have your story be internally consistent–mistakes like this will distract your reader from the important stuff.

[editline]6th January 2011[/editline]

Also, if you start a new paragraph in the middle of a quote you need to add quotation marks at the beginning of the paragraph (although you don’t have to close the quotes in the last paragraph) :eng101:

Well, I was thinking it suggested that he never really gave specifics on what happened. Like, he would say “My daughter died when she was eighteen” but wouldn’t say the date. Leaving the question of when a mystery.

Perhaps, a better way to put it would be “I have never lied to you, yet I have not been entire accurate either” or something.

I didn’t really know that about quotations. I always noticed it in The Dark Tower, I thought it was strange at first, but I guess it makes sense, too.

I have no clue what Dead Like Me is either. :confused:

Good point about the glass.

Thanks, all.