Exile: A gmod comic series

http://filesmelt.com/dl/EXILE1.png

My new Garry’s mod comic series which revolves around three humans trying to fight off the evil alien army that invaded Earth called the “Combine”.

C&C appreciated…

Characters

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Simon4.png

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Juan.jpg

http://filesmelt.com/dl/unit-1.jpg

Antagonists

http://filesmelt.com/dl/uU.jpg

The Watcher:

http://filesmelt.com/dl/master.png

#1: Prologue 1/2

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Exiles1.jpg

#1: Prologue 2/2

http://filesmelt.com/dl/CRAP.jpeg

Certainly not as bad as my first comic. But needs improvement

Okay kiddo, prepare for your fill of C&C.

First, mechanics. Your layout and speechbubbles need work, and your dual image per line system is confusing and cluttered. Never stretch comic panels, crop to the correct size.

Dialogue. Various mistakes in grammar. The dialogue itself is clunky and dry. These are two guys talking to each other, not two actors reading off lines of Shakespearean melodrama. Read your dialogue aloud after you write it and see if it still makes sense. If it doesn’t flow naturally, then you need to change it. The best thing to do is write it, do something else for a few hours, and come back and read it to see if it still makes sense.

Presentation and story. We all know the Half-Life 2 storyline. No need to sum it up. We also know these characters, since they’re roughly the same as every other rebels v. combine comic made since 2005. Also, try and have a bit more action then two guys talking to each other. This is your first impression with readers, you want to reel them in something better then stilted dialogue.

Posing and angles are incredibly dry and generally poorly lit. You need to work on your posing, but more importantly, play with your camera angles. Try some more interesting shots, and take plenty of pictures. Something that looks worthless when taking it might be exactly what you need in editing. Once it’s all said and done, you can delete or store the unused images. Play with lamps and lights; see what works and what doesn’t.

For more info, read this and learn. http://www.facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1110069

Good luck. Don’t make all this a waste of time by not doing any more comics, eh?

Awesome comic bro good job

#2: The Escape

http://filesmelt.com/dl/beheaded.jpg

(Decided to take up Lt_C’s tutorial. It’s still not perfect though)

you should really work on your posing, lighting, camera angles and editing before you try and do a comic; it’s either that or become funnier than Seinfeld hopped up on shrooms. anything short of that is simply not going to draw me in.

remember, I need a reason to enjoy your comic. I’m just not getting one here.

Actually,the comic isn’t supposed to be funny. I decided to add some humor here and there to act as a comic relief.

Ok, improve your camera angles, posing also needs improving. Make your speech bubbles smaller, alot smaller. And try not to make the dialouge so corny.

there needs to be tension for there to be relief from it.

Still working on the posing,lighting and camera angles. But until then…

http://filesmelt.com/dl/WEPON.jpg

Having guns on the wall is very dangerous, if one of those swords fell it could hurt someone.

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Untitled855.jpg

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Unit-1.jpeg

Still working on some stuff…but as you can see,the lighting may have slightly improved

your images are ridiculously stretched

Pretty decent but I think you should follow some of Lt_c’s advice more, he knows what he is talking about.

Also, if this what you had in mind for those CM10 models?

Well,actually…I might use them for another comic. I’m using Enhanced Citizens for this one

http://filesmelt.com/dl/Naval.jpg

You really need to work on your editing