Nightfall... (Part of the Nambian series)

http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/807/wasteland0001.jpg

C&C :3
Story:
[After walking for hours in the newly risen sun, the remains of Omega squad found a abandoned building. Some of the doorways were blocked and when they got to the first room they found skeletons. They got to the top floor and went out on the balcony. They took a rest from the walking and reported their position to the HQ. The night was falling over them…]

Nice picutre.

Also, cool story mate.

Cool story bro.
Posing is nice I like the picture!

Should I continue with these kind of poses? :3

Yes. Yes you should.

Of course theyre very good

Thanks guys :3 I will continue this, maybe even write a longer story later on!

Okay, what is Nambian series? And what is it about?

It’s a “book” I am writing. It is about a race called Nemabs on the desert planet of Nambian. It follows the Omega squad of the 212th Nemabian Special Forces Platoon. I started writing since… The start of July?

Hmmm, let me try to reword that story to see if i can improve it much :stuck_out_tongue:

[Several hours after the new sun had risen, Omega Squadron was still walking, searching the (insert area name here), only to find a single abandoned building. Seeing no hostiles they proceeded on entering the fallen remains. As they had gone about carefully investigating the building, they had searched all but the top floor, and as they had reached it, they found nothing other then the decomposed remains of unmarked bodies, unable to tell if they had been enemies or allies. Now almost at noon, they took a breif pause, to recover from their long walk, reporting what they had discovered to HQ. It was surely going to be a long day] (i removed the “Night was falling over them” because in the first sentence you said that the sun was just rising lol)

Their, just thought it needed improving, try and use some online thesaurus’ for help on different words you can use to describe things with.