OUR PLANET : part 1

OUR PLANET : SF comics by Dok zACBRu!

http://uppix.net/f/5/d/09c7241c5e3cb2a77f6400074be77.jpg

http://uppix.net/b/1/8/6dfd1fe4ac6687bf08ee55be428ba.jpg

Please comment and criticize. :slight_smile:

I’m french, so tell me if the english translation sounds odd or wrong, thanks.

You can find the french version on my DeviantART

It doesn’t make any sense.

Well, it does sound a lil’ bit odd at some point.

Im confused

Don’t understand it much, but you have my attention anyways.

Looks good to me. Looking forward for it.

This looks worth keeping an eye on. I don’t know why but that headhack seems to clash with the rest of the environment…maybe because in a grim and gritty future her hair has more color than everything else combined? Unless that’s the point somehow.

The translation makes it sound interesting…

i choose this model because of the hair.

If someone want to help me for the translation, I’m waiting;

http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs38/f/2008/323/e/f/Awesome_Face_Smiley__Sad_by_CuddleBunniezzz12.gif

The dialogue font and the picture angles make it look very cinematic.
Good posing and editing.

Not bad, hopefully future issues will be longer, yes?

Invading a lifeless planet?
makes as much sense as attacking the moon.

[editline]05:00PM[/editline]

I like the style of it looking forward to more! :razz:

Translation seemed fine for me, other than maybe “You know. Our leaders don’t care what do you think.” could maybe have been “You know, our leaders don’t care what you think.”

Thanks :slight_smile:

I agree, because the english word for “débarquement” make me choose between “landing” or “invasion”. In fact that don’t mean “attacking” but “landing troops” because there should be no fights.

The invaders has their reason to land on this lifeless planet, I’ll explain later. :wink:

EDIT: the brother-scout say that they are wasting time on this planet, because it looks like this invasion is useless. But the leader may have reason to begin a invasion anyway.

hope that it can help you to understand. :slight_smile:

I started working on the second part, it may be avariable in the week. :v

Ah, now it makes sense, thanks for explaining.

Great posing, but I don’t understand why they call each other brother and sister, and shoudn’t there be a backstory

Maybe it’s some sort of incest-party-army. :3:

I think it’s just the way they designate themselves, you know, kinda like the fallout Brotherhood of steel, they call each other Brother.

UP! I posted the 2nd part of the comic! :smiley:

enjoy

http://uppix.net/b/1/8/6dfd1fe4ac6687bf08ee55be428ba.jpg

Hey Zacbru!

I first of want to say good job! It makes me happy to see that someone is still trying to make serious comics during theese dark hours of the Facepunch comics section. The posing is alright, the editing is nothing i can’t complain on. I like it primitive, it creates a atmosphere i do enjoy. As for the story, it feels like every episode is a bit too short. What i want to tip you about is that you should take your time making one, choose camera angles carefully. Try making a long episode! Whenever you need help with a photoshop-matter. Maybe creating a effect or something, google is your best friend.

7.5/10

Good work my friend!

PS: Don’t give up :wink:

Thanks.

Don’t worry, I won’t give up before the end of the story I wrote! :wink:

These too parts are shorts, because they introduce the following action!