Pillar Of Feathers - An unimplemented story

What is it?

This is a story/description of a world that could be used as a backstory for a roleplaying server. (The name sucked, ass, so I removed it :slight_smile: ) I have planned it for a few days now. It isn’t used anywhere, but if there is any interest in it, I might consider making a server (When [thread=770199]my RP script[/thread] works :stuck_out_tongue: ) Feel free to suggest something, criticize the story or just tell me I’m a moron and should kill myself. ( :smiley: )

Read on, if you are interested. Please, don’t post responses containing only tl;dr.

The story

Location

The story is currently placed in an (currently) unnamed city, supposedly somewhat hi-tech, that is surrounded by water. (Thus, it must be positioned above a large lake or on sea surface, or maybe it has multiple lakes around it?) The city is new, and there are not people living there, effectively making the players citizens moving in from other areas.

People

The people living in the city are humans and possibly other humanoids. (Not too different from humans, however!) All citizens are pretty new to the city, the oldest inhabitants may have lived here for a couple of years. maybe three, and there’s constantly new people moving in, new companies being founded and new tings happening most of the time.

The city

Architecture and layout

The buildings are mostly sized small to medium, and built from concrete, though some buildings were build with a more ‘classic theme’ in minds, and are built from bricks and possibly wood. There are some mostly metallic buildings, too, but not many. These should mostly be around the central. The city has nearly no skyscrapers except for the Pillar, located approximately in the middle of the city. The area of the city is divided in sectors, numbered from 0 to 5.

Sectors explained
(Possible landmarks being added as they are planned / suggested)

Sector 0 - The central of the city, and the Pillar. Houses the highest class citizens, since the leaders of the city live in the pillar.
Sector 1 - The northeastern area around the city center. Sectors 0 to 4 make up the area where most citizens live.
Sector 2 - The southeastern area.
Sector 3 - The southwestern area.
Sector 4 - The northwestern area.
Sector 5 - The rest of the city area, around the sectors 1 - 5. This area contains mostly empty plains, forests and whatever. (Possibly the only natural part of the city, if it is built on the sea surface or on top of a lake… Most likely would have land transported from other parts of the world to have grass and plants grow?)

Again, I ask you to comment on this work of mine. Suggest additions, replacements and removals for anything in there, and I’ll take a look at it. Also, remember, the story and whatever is incomplete and reasonably short, and my intention is to find out if anyone would be interested in roleplaying in an environment like this.

How am I artistic?

[editline]09:22PM[/editline]

Damn you, automerge!

[editline]10:20[/editline]

Some admin/moderator/someone, please change the title to ‘Would you RP on a server like this?’ Or something similiar if that’s too long :confused:

[editline]10:35[/editline]

Yay, 400 posts!

I love the story!

That’s nice. :slight_smile:

I like it. There are too many Half-Life 2/Real life based RP modes.

This one does something different. Kudos.

Thanks. I actually started planning this, because there are too few roleplaying servers with a completely original world or storyline. I wonder if others like it, too :stuck_out_tongue:

Bump. Also, how come was my last post funny? How are any of my posts funny?

And now I’ll hijack my own thread.

I’d like some people from this roleplaying section visit [thread=770199]my RP gamemode’s thread over here[/thread], and tell me honestly what it needs and what it doesn’t. I don’t know what the RP community wants, I only know what DarkRPrs and me myself want. If nobody gives me suggestions, I’ll just follow my original plan. (Then everyone will whine about or start suggesting missing features anyway, when I release it :stuck_out_tongue: )

I wish more people would appreciate what this guy is trying to do for us.

Thanks. I suppose that not many need this kinda thing, and I myself am too poor to have a server :stuck_out_tongue:

Good job. You have seem to have caught my attention. All I want to do now is make a building for this map you are describing.

There’s really not enough here to develop a good solid role play canon off of or comment much on. There’s also no conflict besides maybe a possible class warfare that is implied by the layout of said city. And for a successful experience there needs to be some room for a developing specific conflict. What makes this story different? And how is this original in any sense of the word as it is now, it borrows from lots of different stories.

Here are a few questions that I would hope help you develop this more. As it stands right now its no where near enough to develop a server off of.

Why are people moving/immigrating here?
Why was this city built surrounded by water?
You say humanoids, what specifically do they look/act like? Where are they from?
Are the humans the wealthy ones and the humanoids the working class?
Is there conflict between pure humans and humanoids?
Why is there a pillar in the center and why does it house the wealthy and prestigious?
What are the conditions for everyone else not living in this center area?
What is the need for sectors 1-4? What makes each sector unique?
What is the year?
Is this an alternative future or an alternative world altogether?
If the city for the most part has classical, simplistic wood architecture, how is it also hi-tech?
Why is it built with a classical nature in mind?
Is there a police force and/or military force?
What is the government of this place like? Is it under another nations sovereignty or is its own?
Are there other cities like this in the world?
What is technology like? (aka vehicles, medicine, biotech, weapons, leisure?)

Even Half Life 2 with its wonderful setting and massive amounts of canon to use in developing an RP setting it wasn’t enough for everything and a lot has to be interpreted to this day to be made and created to fit within the original HL2 canon. To compete with that and make an original story, you’ll have to develop this much more.

EatDaMuffin, I know it’s not enough to start a server. :stuck_out_tongue: I don’t know what I was on when writing this :smiley:

Okay, let’s start answering the questions
Er- I haven’t thought of this much. Maybe both the first and second could be answered by overpopulation; There’s simply no space for any more people on land, so they started building artificial islands. This could work, I dno’. (sidenote: Nuclear fallout?)

Humanoids, in this case, refers to living creatures that have a form closely similiar to humans. Human-animal hybrids would be pretty much out of consideration, because of ‘LOL UR A FURFAG LMAO’, but maybe this could be replaced by trans-humans, or cyborgs. I’m trying to avoid drifting too much to a HL2 copy :confused:

If humanoids were of the working class, and humans the wealthy ones, it would be unoriginal, but it’s unoriginal the other way around, too. Mixed groups with there being approximately the same amount of both being the working class, but slightly more wealthy humanoids than humans could work.

It could be that the working class actually lives a nicer life than the wealthier ones. If the wealthy class is very restricted, it might be that there’s three states of freedom in the city: Full freedom of the leaders, pretty free life of the working class and the very restricted life of the wealthy people, leading to the situation that the wealthy class needs the help of the working class to get freedom by overthrowing the leaders of the city. I’m in a bit of a hurry writing this, so tell me if there are inconsistencies.

Three words: Fuck the pillar. Too much citadel. Anyway, it was supposed to house the leaders of the city, and have them kind of supervise the city from there. Yet again drifting too close to HL2

Refer to the explanation about the conflict and classes. The working class lives in the area I designated as sectors 1 to 4 in the OP.

Fuck the sectors. There’s nothing that makes a single sector unique. on the other hand, have you played Final Fantasy VII (7)? The main city, Midgar, had multiple sectors, not much unlike each other. I think there were six or eight of them, but the last one was still under construction, at least in the part I am playing :stuck_out_tongue:

I have yet to decide whether or not this works with Earth, so the year stays unspecified. The overpopulation-story would be good, also a nuclear fallout, but I find it stupid assigning something in a story to year X AD.

Most likely an alternative world, maybe even bigger than earth. The populace is humans and humanoids because of convenience (Eg. people already know what humans are like, but not how some aliens would be.)

I think you skipped this part

Also, the high-tech would be implied by the fact that it’s an artificial island, IMO (I started to like that story :3)

There would be more classical houses built by/for the wealthy people who dislike concrete and the cold feel of modern cities. Or something.

Police force, yes… Not though police, and not aggressive like the metro-police of HL2. Insted, hteir main objective would be to keep up law and order, like it should be. If there was an army on top of that, then they should be a bit overenthusiastic about shooting. (…To miss. Wait, wut?)

It could be a sovereign city state, then above it being an international lead that decides about major stuff, affecting more than jus tone or two countries. The government would be reasonably strict about laws, but there would be no death sentences or anything like that for criminals, but the government has full and absolute freedom and control over the city. There would be a voting system to elect the leaders, but this should be so that the population of the city chooses most of the new leaders, and the old leaders choose the rest.

There would be many cities, if the planet was overpopulated. :stuck_out_tongue:

The base of all technology should be formed from technology that resembles the technology used currently on our planet, but would be extended further by new technologies, these including for example some level of quantum computing, new medicines and for example a new treatment to cancer that has a bigger success percent. Some cybernetic implants would be available, and military technology would be in a transition point from more traditional arms and protective gear to new, possibly energy-based weapons and for example, some kinds of exoskeleton armors to protect the soldiers from more hazards. Energy producing would also be developed to a new level, to avoid polluting new areas of the world, possibly fusion generators built from materials not found on earth (In other words, withstanding the extreme heat of the fusion process) and perfected to have a good cost/power ratio.

Also, I feel this would work better in a book, or something, but the Terminator roleplay succeeded, why wouldn’t this at least be tried :stuck_out_tongue: Tell me what to make better, muffin, as you seem to know lots about these kind of things :slight_smile:

I’m not sure if I understood this part correctly. What is your motivation to become wealthy if your going to have a lesser quality of life? And if there was a danger that the leaders would be overthrown, why would they have full freedom to walk around the city?

Wait, indeed. The first question would be answered by saying that the wealthy aren’t much in contact with the working class, because of the restrictions set on them or something… (Sidenote: LOLCOMMUNISM)
The leaders have full control over the police, the army, everything. And the point is that the wealthy don’t have the means for a revolution, and the leaders keep the working people happy to maintain control over the city.

Of course the restrictions for the wealthy would be ‘for their own good’. Also, it’s not a police state,and how’d you feel walking around an unknown area with a shitload of money in your pockets, anyway? The rich wouldn’t be completely restricte to the city center, but they’d have bodyguards (Who of course work for the leaders of the city) to protect them (And to protect the city from them, in a way)