rp_JanoobaCity_2009 Beta

This isn’t a release, rather a look at my progress. The old versions, to be blunt, sucked, but this new one will look somewhat like ovis_city, but the main feature will be the mall. Yes this RP map will have a mall, the map itself isn’t a mall. This includes custom textures and less… blockyness. Now the reason for this thread is to get some feedback, so I can change things early on.

Here are some pictures, of the mall and the map… remember this is a work in progress!
http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/5769/hl22009060120261188.th.png http://img188.imageshack.us/img188/5058/hl22009053020350295.th.png http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/6748/hl22009053020403675.th.png http://img46.imageshack.us/img46/8115/hl22009053020405024.th.png http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6618/hl22009052716295745.th.png http://img194.imageshack.us/img194/2248/hl22009053015375175.th.png http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/1812/hl22009052716311868.th.png http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/848/hl22009052716320263.th.png http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/7135/hl22009052716322119.th.png http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/9772/hl22009052716324158.th.png http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/7020/hottopic2.th.jpg http://img33.imageshack.us/img33/8847/hottopic3.th.jpg http://img7.imageshack.us/img7/121/hl22009052716405468.th.png http://img20.imageshack.us/img20/5029/hl22009052907492127.th.png http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/5025/hl22009052907494482.th.png http://img16.imageshack.us/img16/9972/hl22009052907501105.th.png http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/7839/hl22009052907505701.th.png http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/2427/hl22009052907510360.th.png http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/4492/hl22009052907512636.th.png http://img43.imageshack.us/img43/5096/hl22009052907513633.th.png http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/9914/hl22009052907520415.th.png http://img200.imageshack.us/img200/2052/hl22009053121200188.th.png http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/8246/hl22009060623004905.th.png http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/3874/hl22009060120260061.th.png http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/875/hl22009060622593846.th.png http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/4658/hl22009060716095194.th.png http://img192.imageshack.us/img192/2682/hl22009060716102912.th.png http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6762/hl22009060915394198.th.png http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/2415/hl22009060915444971.th.png http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/5485/hl22009060915450200.th.png http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/5434/hl22009060915451747.th.png http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6523/hl22009060915442574.th.png http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/3106/hl22009061520294416.th.png http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/3976/hl22009061018335568.th.png http://img195.imageshack.us/img195/592/hl22009061018341989.th.png http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/4065/hl22009070114224899.th.png http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3118/hl22009070114230170.th.png http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/5979/hl22009070114231733.th.png http://img197.imageshack.us/img197/4748/hl22009070115350023.th.png

I will keep the pictures updated :smiley:
Please give me feedback.
But if you think it sucks “This sucks” IS NOT what I want
I want “This sucks because <reason here>”
Constructive criticism guys

Dictionary Insert:
Main Entry: Constructive Criticism
Part of Speech: n
Definition: Criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions

Example: Instead of saying “Sub-par lighting” expand and say. “Don’t use white lights, give it some color and theme it. Yellow/orange for warm and blue/green for cold, metal, and hostile” Maybe not even that long but something to steer me in the right direction. After all I’m not the master and still need to be pointed in the right direction.

If you believe it has “Absolutely nothing” good in it. Please don’t say it at all. Just say, “needs a HELL of a lot more work” or something less, harsh

Thanks

Looks good!
Hope this gets finished!

Hahah. I was expecting this to be a super horrible map that has only 2 pictures.

But it sure dose look good.

Sounds snotty to name a map after yourself.

Haha yea Lord Ned. Couldn’t think of a name though soo yea

Not really an excuse.

[editline]02:02AM[/editline]

Not really.

On to something more serious. Take a look at picture six. I’m not sure why. but it doesn’t matter where, or how many cubemaps I put i always get an annoying blue or pure white reflection. Help?

Edit: FIXED
I needed to put mat_reloadallmaterials in the console then build cubemaps. I don’t know why

cp_LORDNEDSAWESOMEMAPOFDOOM

Or

pl_RAGUORAGULA

allright, this thread is about my WIP map not about naming rp_maps

BTW I am updating the pictures regularly if something changes drastically or I add a new store

Fine;
Blocky
Lack of art style/direction
Lack of significant lighting
Lack of any sort of style
Lack of detail
Lack of detail
Nothing looks interesting or stands out

The only thing that looks SLIGHTLY interesting is the “hottopic” map, which DOESN’T EVEN HAVE YOUR NAME ON IT.

All right. Maybe you should have read the OP better. Or maybe you just don’t understand what the fuck a WORK IN PROGRESS is!

But, THIS IS A WORK IN PROGRESS. (In case you haven’t noticed) Lack of detail… Tell me something I don’t already know!

Edit: Oh yea. I still didn’t see any way I can improve.

Do you want a “Template” of what I expect from the Facepunch community?

“Lack of detail, If I was you I would add a few benches and maybe some pillars or something to break up the open space”

You should add a better sign to pic 4. Not just a picture. And a little more detail to pic 7. Like mabye trim on the bottom and top and a couple of pictures and some new wallpaper. Also I would take the edges of the frig and round them and make it white.

Yea, you’re right i should change the sign. And I will add a bit more to the house even though your supposed to furnish it yourself it will look more appealing after… thanks

Oh and the fridge is blocky because I made it myself, I wanted you to be able to fit inside. But I guess I could round it abit

Lord Ned makes valid points, he just hasn’t expanded on them.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6571/hl22009052716394165.png

It’s true, your mall doesn’t seem to have any architectural style or theme to it, perhaps that is due to the lack of real texturing,who knows. What is that bizzare shaped thing on the front? it seems to fulfill no purpose. The windows on the right of the shot of the front require thicker frames. The thin bars running through them would not be enough to support a window of that size.

http://img35.imageshack.us/img35/6571/hl22009052716394165.png

The shot of inside the mall just needs more… stuff. Props mainly. Benches, plant pots, bins. That kind of thing. Also I note you have a brick pillar theme going on outside. Perhaps carry this over onto the inside to give it a more unified architectural feel? That mezzanine floor needs supporting anyway. What’s the massive sheet of glass for at the front end? it appears to be inside the main window.

I’m going to gloss over the hot-topic stuff since it’s a) not your work and b) better than a large portion of your map.

http://img38.imageshack.us/img38/3451/hl22009052716314521.png

This area needs the most improvement.
I’ll start with the brushwork. It’s just a box with a wall down the middle. For a start, any bank has a counter on the customer side to allow customers to sign things, usually sloped inwards at the bottom. Sometimes there are small dividers along the front to retain some privacy for the customer, and infact in my local bank each serving window is set at 35* to the back wall. Hell I might even draw you a diagram in a minute. That glass window needs some supports in it too.
On to the lighting.

  1. White lighting is a no-no. Colour it slightly, yellow for incandescant bulbs, blae blue/turquoise for fluorescents. You can use this to great effect to set up a mood for an area. The blue gives a cold hostile feel, while the yellow produces a warm safe glow.
  2. Use a combination of light and light_spot entities. It avoids that ugly bright patch on the ceiling. Change your light entity to a light_spot, open out the inner and outer angles a bit, I tend to use 65 ish for the inner and 75-80 for the outer. Now colour it and set a brightness of maybe 300. Now make a light entity 8 units or so direcly below, set the colour exactly the same as the light_spot, but change the brightness down to 10-15. For bonus points add env_sprites to your lights.
  3. Finally use appropriate lighting. You should probably swap those ceiling lights out for the fluorescents used in the kitchen, it’s more appropriate.

Back in a bit with that drawing.

[editline]11:36AM[/editline]

http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/2661/bankdiagram.jpg

One diagram of the bank I was in yesterday.

metallics thanks for going into detail on what I could improve. Now since this I am working on this I haven’t added much detail inside but I will. You’re right, the whole bank needs to be re-made I sort of was getting sick of it.
The big glass front of the building. I like it. To tell you the truth my mall has one of those that looks like that. I will add thicker supports to the other glass and like I said I am working on this every day and adding more detail. But I would rather finish the layout and get the whole mall filled before I start scattering props.

But thank you for going over and above on explaining what I could improve on

Thank you, had a massive headache last night when I made my orginal post.

Clears throat

I sure as HELL understand what a work in progress is. You know what it asks for? CRITIQUE. Why else would you show off your work if you didn’t want CRITIQUE. This is what me and others have been providing. Don’t get an attitude when we try to help you.

If you don’t want critique’s on a section, DON’T SHOW IT OFF. Or, do a detail pass. If you look at a map such at Evocity, remove the props and stuff, it will still look better then your “WIP”. Lighting is part of a WIP, so is textures (Dev or not), decals, overlays, etc.

You want me to create another post like Metallics?

They are giving you constructive criticism, which is EXACTLY what you asked for, so why are you yelling at them?

Yes please.
BTW I’ve been working on this for 1 week… So of coarse it’s crude and undeveloped

Nono, he told me what was wrong. Not what to do about it

This image:

http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/6571/hl22009052716303418.png

Add door and window frames and fix the missaligned glass texture. Also use a proper texture for that interior wall.

Yup, it’s been re-worked