Telescopic steel baton

You know the one the coppers use in V For Vendetta everytime someone gets nicked?

I want one of those and I bet loads of people wants one, and I’m not talking about that piece of ass laying around in that’s over sized and truthfully speaking very amateurish work. I’m talking about a real bitch-ass hippie smashing facist steel baton that comes in two shapes and is as black as the night it was invented.