The Interactive Story of Derek Trotter

Your are Derek Trotter, a red scout who has found themself imprisoned in the cell for a night for drink driving. You need to escape, and then get revenge on the man who had you wrongfully imprisoned.

In your cell is a half-empty bottle of whiskey, a mysterious gift box and a sleeping black man. He seems to be in a deep sleep, and talking to him won’t wake him.

At the entrance to the cell oposite yours in a bucket of KFC, and a newspaper.

In the neighbouring cell is a Heavy taking a shit. He seems to be in some distress.

Next to him is an aluminum bat.

What do you do?

Ask the heavy what he is in for,and why he seems distressed.

>Teleport out of jail.
>Teleport to guy you want to kill
>Kill guy

> smash the half empty bottle of whiskey over the black man’s head, it should wake him up

Deciding that the bastard has spent enough time lazing about like his kind usually does, you smash the bottle of whiskey over its head.

A loud sniffing sound is heard as the black man is aroused by the smell of liquour.

Suddenly, it sniffs again. Its primeval instincts are triggered by its prey: KFC.

It quickly jumps to it’s feet and smashes the door down, before feasting on it’s prey.

Deciding not to bother it for fear of losing a hand, you slowly walk around it and grab the newspaper on the floor.

You then approach the heavy, and inquire as to why he is imprisoned, and why he is in distress. Through his sobs he tells you that he was arrested for raiding a sandwich shop, and whilst he was imprisoned one of the other prisoners stole Sascha and his toilet roll. He says he will be happy again if Sascha is returned to him and will repay the deed greatly, and is also willing to give you the aluminum bat next to him in exchange for the newspaper.

Give the heavy the newspaper for the bat,and see if there happens to be a guard station of somewhat.If you see any guards,smash their head in while also screaming BONK or BOINK at random intervals.Also if you have the space,pick up the present,yet don’t open it.

>Read the newspaper to check aliens haven’t invaded.
>Make out that there’s a really interesting story in the paper.
>Trade with the heavy for the bat.

Considering your always online,don’t you think you could update faster?

I won’t actually be able to make another update until tommorrow due to now only having temporary access to my laptop (Which can barely play gmod).

oh derp!and here i was hoping i could sit down tonight with an interactive comic(pig luv isnt coming along very fast)

After reading the newspaper and finding that aliens HAVE invaded, you decide to quickly trade the newspaper for the bat.

Running out of the building, you find yourself just at the entrance to the prison. Suddenly, a massive truck appears from around the corner. In it is a Blue Soldier. The worst kind. The retarded kind.


Wait did the heavy rape the scout? D:

No. The scout’s just still in shock that the planet’s been invaded.

Take out your fake lady leg for hitch hiking and show this soldier what you learned in prison

>You’re a fucking scout. Double-jump.