The Loose End (Comic, CYOA-ish)

A remake of an old Gmod comic I did about 4 years ago. This time with actual editing and a story that isn’t a generic “STOP NUCLEAR MISSLEBOMB, USA IS DOMINATE” story that you see in COD games.

http://i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae87/johny1337/The Loose End/TheLooseEndE1F1.png

http://i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae87/johny1337/The Loose End/TheLooseEndE1F2.png

http://i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae87/johny1337/The Loose End/TheLooseEndE1F3.png

http://i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae87/johny1337/The Loose End/TheLooseEndE1F4.png

[h2]To be continued. No, seriously, like, for real.[/h2]
[del]how cliche[/del]

(Also, CC would be highly appreciated. And yes, I know my posing skills are shit.)

Way way way too much text in those speech bubbles in a font that is small and hard to read. Take some time and read this. I think you’ll get a lot out of it if you really read it and take it to heart.

http://www.facepunch.com/threads/1110069

Other suggestions…
Get rid of the interactive component. Just throw it out and make up your own damn mind about how you want your story to be told.
I don’t know what you were trying to do with the overlays and desaturation, but all of it is making it worse.

I wouldn’t be taking the time to write this if I didn’t think you had something worth critiquing. Keep improving.

After procrastinating for several days after actually taking screenshots I got around to editing them.

So here it is.

[del](The law of Chekhov’s Gun is now in effect hinthint)[/del]

Tank rampage.

I can see you didn’t actually read the tutorial.